Outside my comfort zone
I find I'm not alone
And now that you leave
The songs of the bereaved
Echo in this heart of stone
Ah, where nerve met bone
Entered with a groan
Sprayed with calcium ions
The life that was dying
Resurrected on loan
Ah, where deaf-mutes hear tone
And the blind wink at the unknown
I will be here for you
I am right here for you
Where a dead star once shone
Inside these veins of truth
I drink of fountains of youth
Because I know that you'll return
Some day that ice will burn
With the glint of a grinning tooth.
What is the crazy?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Outside my comfort zone
I find I'm not alone
And now that you leave
The songs of the bereaved
Echo in this heart of stone
Nice stanza!! -
i prefer your non-rhyming poetry. its much more raw. though this is still very good.
-
Excellent
I think you work best when structured. I like the 3rd stanza the most. Very well written and very descriptive. Well done, Gio.
-
Heyu,
it's really good to read your work again. (Yes I was gone too long! again!) but as always, amaaaaaaazing Gio. You've outdone yourself again but keep doing it !!!
I read this 3 times now and the image your poem leaves me keep changing, not sure if that was your purpose but it seems dark to me. Well done. : -
Ah, where deaf-mutes hear tone
And the blind wink at the unknown
I will be here for you
I am right here for you
Where a dead star once shone
"Shone" does NOT rhyme with either "tone" or "unknown". -
whoa.
this is a really nice poem, i loved the mysticism behind it. how the metaphors all relate to things that have either happened or have almost no chance of ever happening. you did a really nice job of conveying your message in this one. keep up the great work!
-
This is a good poem i sometimes feel like this
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
