Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Limbo

Like ghostly white pollen, caught in frail motion,
no conscientious choice of movement
to guide its crippled form

I am

slipping into a limbo 

Feel free... Its the best feeling there is...

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • SimplySonnets gold member
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    The imagery is a delight, I think maybe most of us live our lives in limbo sadly.
    Thank you for sharing


  • UnderThePickleTree
    March 22

    Edit | Reply

    ....

    It makes me sad I like what your trying to do with the discriptiveness of this peice, but the "I am" all alone like that makes for a VERY dramatic pause that, I think, really takes away from this peice.

    Anyways, MAN I finally got the internet back!! I've been gone for EVER it feels like!!


    • Ditt0
      March 25
      Edit | Reply
      Well thank you for the comment... And I must say Im glad your internet has returned to you...The "I am" split means that I am both what is written above and below... I hope that makes sense...