Here.
Beside the stream
in this little whorl
where this captive leaf
is caught
a major chord is struck,
bangles on a boy’s knees
retrieving the prize for his one true love,
said so
with big eyes and blushes.
Replaced, and tipped away,
mighty ships set sail
and glide about.
sussurus weave
the faint imprint of their path
dishevels
smiles and touches
the prow of the wayward leaf
heavy with its cargo
of new lovers
intent upon a voyage.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Excellent
Ah, 'tis a fine write, indeed. Reminds me of the Mary Jane and Sniffles, comic books of my childhood. "Poof, Poof, pifflels, make me just as small as Sniffles", and they would float down stream on a leaf. Again, well done. Here's a couple of links in regards to the above comic book:
http://www.toonopedia.com/maryjane.htm
http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GWYA,GWYA:2009-02,GWYA:en&q=Mary+Jane+and+Sniffles+%2D+comic+book -
It's a very good work of imagery and you have crafted love so beautifully.
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such a imageful write ...you have crafted a wonderful piece of wordart that has a reflection of loves emotions
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amazing brilliant
this poem is amazing so poetic -
Very pretty--you revive my belief in love. A really good write.
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Lute ...
yes.
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A beautiful penning, "painted" with the brushstrokes of fabulous imagery!! Way to go......!!
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soft rain here
not the downpour I expect when I read a Lute
graceful
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If ever anyone asked me how not to write a cliched love poem I think I might just send them here, for this is beautifully new and amazing on a time old subject.
C
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A love poem.
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