Dwelling in my head, waits the desire to,
pull you close, hold you near and whisper.
I smile seductively at the beautiful lady
her crimson hair radiant (like the blood)
her eyes amethyst (purple bruises).
She stares at me, that hunger bright
while stars shine above in radiant light
I ask her to dance and slide so near.
She speaks in a voice like an angel
flows with inhuman grace and poise
but it isn't just lust that lies in her face.
We dance in discord, a pantomime
of two lovers dancing gracefully
finally she makes the suggestion.
We flounce off into darkness
vampire temptress leads me to chambers
far from the sight of prying eyes.
Disrobes and smiles so coyly
teeth barely contained behind the mask
holds arms open wide in lust.
I know she wants blood and sex
I smile with my desire burning
pull her close, hold her near and whisper.
"Remember me?" As I stab with wooden blade
deep into her heart as I reveal two marks
on the neck, two fangs in my smile.
I watch her die before I begin the hunt.
Author notes
Title = The Rage Within me
Phrases = Dwelling in my head, waits the desire to
Themes = Vampire
Hope you don't mind mix and match but I adored your options.
A contest entry
- The Contest Within by Inside.
1750 points, ended March 22, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - pif/round contest part one - prewrite's by serenity silvermoon.
800 points, ended July 10, 564 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I love this, I love this, I love this. The whole poem absorbs me when I read it and that twist at the end is awesome. I love how you have used the prompts and I adore your use of words through out the poem.
"She stares at me, that hunger bright
while stars shine above in radiant light"
and
"We dance in discord, a pantomime"
are my favourite lines. I just love the way they sound. Beautifully done.
Inside.
-
wow i love it nice write so much pain hidden demones that people have on the inside and you got that
-
I like this alot. You have a strong opening which drew me infrom the begining. The poem in generally constructed well and you finish again on a strong note. I like that alot. Thank-you for your entry.
-
Chilling. Loved it (as usual).
There were some really gorgeous lines in there and you've used your prompts v. well.
Keep up the excellent work!! Althought I'm sure you will = ]
♥
-
You've done amazing with the prompt.
I especially like how you've done this...
"her crimson hair radiant (like the blood)
her eyes amethyst (purple bruises)."
Anyway, good luck in the contest! -
Oh my! What a read this one is! I love where you took those prompts! This is great!
Best of luck in this contest!
and love
Nyetta
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
