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"Simplify"

Undo this world
Simplify this box
Put in your book
That is now your knowing
About this purgatory of nothing.

Author notes

Option #2: No E's please. This is about having a simple life, which is not all its cracked up to be.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

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Comments

  • aaaaaaaa
    March 15

    Edit | Reply
    Hello and thanks for entering.

    This is interesting. I would've liked to see a bit more, it's a little short for me.

    I really love the first line though, "undo this world", very nice.

    But there were some awkward lines as well:
    "Put in your book
    That is now your knowing"

    The flow was a bit off, but I like the thought in this, and the last line is pretty cool too.

    Here's my scoring sheet:

    “Simplify” Scoring Sheet
    Correct Format - 15/15 points
    Rules - 5/5 points
    Clarity - 9/10 points
    Cohesion - 7/10 points
    Length - 6/10 points
    Theme - 8/10 points
    Originality of theme - 2/5 points
    Title - 2/5 points
    Vocabulary/Grammar - 8/10 points
    Flow - 6/10 points
    Personal Opinion - 6/10 points
    Total - 74/100


  • VelvetWings
    March 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is a nice write. How ironic that it be about simplicity when you probably struggled to write it without e--the most common letter in the Alphabet.
    Great job with this, thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest!
    ~Sparrow