desperate times
dying by the hour
people controlled by the power
turned in to mimes
unable to speak
as if mouths sown shut
vocal cords have been ripped out
they drown in there own emotions
they so desperately want to express
lifeless and still blank expressions
plastered to faces
there hearts rot
as emotions eat them away
tonight we witness
that love has been doing
observe people turn to bank and cold
the new and the old
turn to lifeless statues
mimes of a sort
turned into molds
of lifeless...art
to you is this a fair way to portray the effect on people you see that have loved and loss and the way it may have effected some of them
Comments
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Great job! My only critique is that some punctuation would help with pauses and being able to read it better. Other than that. Absolutely nothing! =)
Great piece with emotion and you really explained the effect of people who have loved and lost.
Great job!
=) -
Shutting yourself down to feel nothing, even though you want to feel something. That's what I've interpreted from this poem. Great job!
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What becomes of the broken hearted lass..?
this is just chock full of eminence description...
The title is perfect...
You should be proud lass...
This shows real talent.
Blessings,
Lowell Poe
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