A girl sits in a desk
A girl that knows her place
One that loves new friends
Except for one two-face
She feels her face get red
and her palms fill up with sweat
Then, she jumped a little
To find her neck was wet
I don't know if he kissed it
Or got perfume and sprayed
But, outside she cried
In, she felt betrayed
She knew that she smelled
But, even when she washes her shirts
Her cat would sleep on it
Making a smell alert
But, instead of asking
He chose to make her cry
Even when she'd been nice to him
and thought he was a good guy
Still she's not mad at him
Because she don't get that way
Though, the trust she did have
Started to shrink, then decay
Author notes
Meet Terry, The 2 Face.
http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=70537053&albumID=667605&imageID=39375569
Comments
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i really like the idea of this poem, but i think you need to be a little clearer. it starts out sort of depressed but alright, meanders toward embarrasment, then takes a sharp turn toward low self-esteem. maybe try and clear up the message a little bit.
also, try and work on your meter. i love that you use rhyme, now just incorperate rythm and it will be amazing.
again, love the idea! good work!
roSES!~

