cold concrete invades and makes my skin crawl - refuse
to let it diminish the glittering pieces of something that burn and make me sparkle. a need, I think.
hands grasping the ivy, searching, wondering why everyone's got something that I don't and where they've gotten it (like it's something I can pick up the discount bin at Walmart; deluding myself)
wishing I was Bette Davis or Ava Gardner, Elizabeth Taylor or Grace Kelly, all smoky eye makeup
red lipstick left on pillowcases and Humphrey Bogart's collar -
a life contained in film reels and black and white photographs
this loneliness laid out for all to see
frustration cracking my bones. tangled up in my bedsheets, left cold by solitude, half-formed dreams and tumbled-cardhouse wishes; no validation for this animalistic, primal, essential, necessary need - a need to be needed, to be wanted, lusted after
to finally be certain
of something.
Author notes
partially self-explanatory, partially not so much.
I think Robbie was right, though.
title from a song by She & Him.
A contest entry
- Lead me to the edge of what can be expressed in poetry by herrlurch.
800 points, ended March 27, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - infinite spaces between atoms by whiterabbit..
500 points, ended April 15, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You pick by Flowergirl.
800 points, ended March 28, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - EVERYTHING/ANYTHING-PW allowed! by Heva Feva.
400 points, ended June 8, 170 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prose. by sighingflosser..
500 points, ended September 28, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I hope criticism (that good old "constructive" kind) is forthcoming
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I like it. I love this part "need - a need to be needed" you describe it so well, a need to be wanted, to be needed, to be loved. Great job.
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Good luck and thanks for entering my contest.
-heva -
Fabulous work
I like how you integrated old movie stars into your work. At least for me, I haven't seen that very often.
Great job with this -
oooh this is amazing!
I loooove the third paragraph. that really hit me. I love all the imagery you have here.
and the ending is wow. so powerful!
this is wonderful
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I love this and I can relate soooo much. This is how I've been feeling a lot. oh, && bonus points because Humphrey Bogart is my love
I love the way that this is written. Amazing dearie
xx -
very nice i love it keep up the great work...
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job well done.
what wonderful prose.
i related to a lot of this piece,
muy bein.
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<3
this is amazing and inspiring. when i was reading it i felt as if i was reading myself (though penned far more eloquently than i could ever hope to achieve).
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Thank you for entering my contest. I'm looking forward to the final judging round. Best of luck, Götz
PS That's my standard answer for every participant but you're the first with an extra comment: I'm looking for what all of you hand in (I don't have any other choice lol), can't tell yet who'll make it. -
....would you mind if I made it Poem of the Day on my homepage?
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of course not, thank you! <3
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This is the first peom I have read today....you have talent!
Bless you,
Bear -
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this was so gorgeous <3
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I love this.
You are amazing at prose, you definitely have a way with words.
"left cold by solitude, half-formed dreams and tumbled-cardhouse wishes" <-- that was my favorite bit; it's so beautiful I'm jealous.
-abi
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refuse
to let it diminish the glittering pieces of something that burn and make me sparkle. a need, I think.
-ooh, i really like this bit. It's got a certain hope and struggle to it.
This poem is beautiful in a tarnished kinda way. Excellent
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actually, do you mind if I use that?
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Haha;; yeah be my guest=]
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thanks.
I like your "beautiful in a tarnished kind of way"
you could turn that into something.
(:
-dhb.
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