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President Yosemite Sam

Behind the oaken door he drawled
"Ok darlin, that's so good"
What It could be was perhaps
not what it was.

Later the flies on the walls were talking
"Did you see him polishing his irons?"
the first fly had said.
"I couldn't miss it," the second fly had said
adding, "he is always playing with those guns."

A contest entry

Let me know How this makes you feel, what do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • penman gold member
    March 13
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very well done. Best of luck in the contest


  • HeartBr8ker
    March 7
    Edit | Reply
    ehhh it didn't really get my interest. It was an ok write, but I think you can do better