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Together We Can Fly

 

 

 

I need to hold you deep within my heart
and keep you from all harm that life can bring,
to set your spirit free, your soul to sing
and give your life a point from which to start.

     I dream that you’re beside me every night
     together we can overcome all fear,
     the stars will plot the course that we can steer
     to sail upon our dark and lonely flight.

We know that we can never be as one
too many miles now separate our lives,
but in our dreams we feel our love survives
when each new day is greeted by the sun.

     Our passions rise as we take to the sky
     so clasp my hand together we can fly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt.
Quote by Harriet Tubman:
Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.


Form. Canadian Sonnet.

Three quatrains and a closing couplet.
Rhyme scheme ... abba cddc effe gg

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 32 of 32

  • Bluemonday silver member
    September 20, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    He must have made a tremendous impact that lovely day Sue...I too have felt the pain of distant love but eventually crossed the divide to touch it for real...wonderful....Dan


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      September 21, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      Yes Dan, he had already made an impact long before we met, but the day did kind of seal our fate and the distance between us is not really that great ... after all, they're only miles and it's been over three years since we first knew each other.

      Sue
      x


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    March 24, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Sigh --- simply beautiful romance, tinged with sad distant undertones. And my favourite sonnet form too.

    Great stuff Sis

    xxx Jem


  • AraDoco
    March 13, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    AWWWWWWW

    mucho cuteness!!!!! sounds like my aunt and uncle! so sweet and sad!!!

  • icebear
    March 13, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    lovely

    Sung with dreams of love.


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    March 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    so clasp my hand together we can fly.
    should there be a comma after hand?

    this is really beautiful and i thank you for introducing me to this new sonnet form. i wish you well in this contest that you have entered and am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie

  • SpyderEyes
    March 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    A Stand out

    Normally I do not like poems in this category, but your descriptions plus the rhyming scheme had me going. Good job


  • sense surreal
    March 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I dream that you’re beside me every night
    together we can overcome all fear,

    beautiful...the way it gives hope to love. This reminded me of the quote of Luciano de Crescenso


  • Legend silver member
    March 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I saw this in the featured column so popped over I did not realize i had read and commented No worries I enjoyed the read once again It is always a pleasure to visit you world of wonderful words


  • Callisto Athena gold member
    March 11, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Oh well done, Sue.. Two lovers kept apart, lovely and sad..


  • Sandygram silver member
    March 11, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my contest. Best of luck and have a great day. Take care, Sandy


  • Emile
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Good story, good poem. It flows well and holds your interest from start to finish. This poem comes alive within the reader's heart as the story unfolds gently before them. Your word choices elegantly define what you wish to capture and convey to the reader.

  • patrick20traveler
    March 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Very well done.


  • Rainbowchaser
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    A well penned piece that many can relate to, the idealism of love tangled with the realism of life.


  • love4poems
    March 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    great

    i can really imagine this
    its got great rhythm!


  • poetsruletheworld
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a beautiful poem, the technique doesn't matter so much as the words and the feelings expressed. nicely penned.

  • Bad Bill gold member
    March 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Excellent, both as a sonnet and as a love poem, no matter what the form.

    Good one,
    Bill


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    simply a dream I believe many can share in. This is a beautiful piece. Glad that it was in a feature spot or I would of missed this gem.
    Thanks for sharing


    Tory

  • Thor-201
    March 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Truly lovely, well penned.


  • Little-Buster gold member
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Great write.
    Beautiful and vivid
    Keep up the good work!

    -Buster


  • Howard Manser gold member
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    "Our passions rise as we take to the sky
    so clasp my hand together we can fly".

    Don't we wish it were that simple.


  • Dragonbabyx3
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful write, full of dreams and love. This coincides nicely with the way things have been with me lately. A beautifully worked sonnet! Great work!


  • Legend silver member
    March 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    I am running out of superlatives when commenting on your work So i will just go with Excellent


  • moonbumps silver member
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and pure bliss to read my love-flying I most certainly am-upto the Gold.
    (Oh-and by the way-how did you do those amazing bubbles!!!!!!?)
    xxxxx Big xxxxx

  • Purrsanthema
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I love sonnets, and this is a beautiful one. I love the comfortable tone of voice. Best of luck in the contest!


  • csmmoms2
    March 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    I fear that my feathers and wax may get too close to the hot sun. -c


  • poetmaster32
    March 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    this was very nice.


  • Thomas Scott gold member
    March 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    Oh, Boffo! Boffo!

    This is beautifully crafted, Sue. Best of luck in the contest.


  • hawkeslake gold member
    March 6, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely and sad and hopeful all at the same time! I am always impressed at how beautifully you can capture such intense emotions, and tell such a touching story. I don't know how much of this is a true story, but I've always believed that love has an eternal aspect. Thank you for sharing. Lita


  • Ceridwens Soul silver member
    March 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done Sis. I love the imagery you have going on here its awesome. Form well you know its going to be bookmarked.

    Love ya

    Jem


  • arafura
    March 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely!


  • Cannonsfire
    March 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Nice rhyme and rhythm in this, lovely sentiments C

1 - 32 of 32