You looked to the ocean and said
it slaughters without prejudice,
bleeding just like you and me.
The waves were our veins that
day, colliding under the fault line
of an earthquake.
Everything shook, the sky bombed
black with soot.
For a minute
I always wondered if that's the
way you feel; a disoriented genius
building a house of cards, then
it falls under its own weight of
assumption and singularity.
Somehow the queen of hearts
gets lost in the mix, but I know
your love is there somewhere;
hiding.
Breathing it is a complex
construction for you; always
arguing with the landlord because
you have something to say.
So your mind says it, and you are
a beautiful creature for screaming.
Author notes
Prompt: For contest a character indeed.
A contest entry
- A character Indeed by Emmyb.
760 points, ended March 16, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Beginning with "For a Minute..." and throught the rest of the piece, such visciously damn good writing!
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Somehow the queen of hearts
gets lost in the mix, but I know
your love is there somewhere;
hiding.
really liked this verse
great write#
thanks for entering.
Emm -
This is very interesting, and I am fascinated by how you put thoughts and words together. I am wondering, however, if you really meant "minuet" (a dance) or "minute" -- also did you mean to put a comma after "Breathing it is, " because I can't figure out how that flows into the next line (heehee -- I might just be missing a few cells after work!). And lastly, in the second to the last line, did you mean "you are" (you're)? Okay, enough with the questions -- I really liked this, as I do all of your work. You always make my mind take a deep breath! Thanks. Auntie M.
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Oh haha no I meant to put minute instead of minuet, I didn't catch that one.
Oh and I also didn't catch the comma, oh wow thank you for noticing and your help, it comes in handy.
I'm glad you liked.
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