Lying stiff, movement ceased
the life from which he knew has ended
peacefully, his soul slips towards a better place
stillness surrounds the body like a blanket
trying its best to warm up
what the deathly cold has taken
Author notes
i dont think im quite finished w/ this piece...any suggestions if i should continue or not?
Written April 7th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
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id have to pretty much agree with 'i am sam' on everything though what you have know is very good so far
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Edited on Feb 26, 11:28 because ''. -
It does seem unfinished, I think you should continue, but you to create an ending, not to prolong it anymore, it would just weaken it. I like the imagery used when you said "Stifness surrounds the body like a blanket, trying its best to warm up whatthe deathly cold has taken." Good poem so far.
Sam
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