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Lines ... by a lake

Missing image

 Eagle Link

 

A sliver of sky

echoes in a lake.

 

I cannot find myself there

but I see several worlds.

 

Yes, I view what others, by choice,

make evident: mansions, launches, parties.

 

Birds, floating over the water could, with ease,

see their under-bellies when they look down

 

as they dive low across the water, yet

they do not, pursued by their images ...

 

instead, and motivated, they look only for fish.

Though clear as sky, it is their hunting-ground.

 

One day, the people will leave.

The birds will fish for compliments

rightfully theirs.

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Real, simple life.

A contest entry

Please critique.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Lauras Two Roses
    March 30, 2009
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    That's really breath-taking!


  • Knight70
    March 26, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    Being the nature lover that I am, this really hit the spot for me.

    The only thing that I noticed is this slight typo after the colon. It's so easy to forget to hit the space bar sometimes.

    evident:mansions

    I absolutely love the bird's eye view you have created here, and how easily you are able to personify the bird's thoughts. I think it's easy to take some of the simplest things in life for granted.

    Maybe, it's just the natural progression of humankind to further advance in all things beyond our wildest dreams, or it could be that most of us just get too caught up in the everyday distractions of life that we put on blinders to what's around us. If we could only see what this beautiful bird sees, maybe we would treat one another better, and learn to appreciate life for all its simplicities.


  • leo2
    March 14, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the HM. In nature, the strong survive.... the weak and unlucky are swallowed by those who thrive. Come to think of it... human beings still adhere to universal law.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long


  • silverscent gold member
    March 8, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    This brings so many images to mind. I think the birds and water is an interesting metaphor. Thanks for entering.

1 - 8 of 8