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The Horror

I woke up in a terrified sweat
the taste of steel and gunpowder on my tongue
the smell of cordite burning my eyes
thoughts like rabid ragged giant bats flapping through plastic halls
All my heroes are dead
why do we see so much clearer in the dark
most by their own hand
Dr Gonzo
The Lizard King
Freud
Hannibal
Socrates
Hemingway
Prinze
Lenny Bruce
Bill Hicks

Gunshots ring out like firecrackers at Chinese new years

bang bang bang
BANG
staccato blasts extinguish flames that burn too bright

a swarm of pills that drown our visions flow like a river of insanity
and every day I take more
washing them down with blinding whiskey
numbing tequila

The sayings of Thomas Gnostic text 113) His disciples said to Him, "When will the Kingdom come?"
(and Jesus said)
  "It will not come by waiting for it. It will
not be a matter of saying 'Here it is' or 'There it is.' Rather,
the Kingdom of the Father is spread out upon the earth, and men
do not see it."

Bullshit, some of us see it all to clearly, it burns our eyes, it sears our hearts it is both beautiful and terrible.
The beauty screams in our eyes and we cannot bear its truth
or we are monkeys in a cage
beating the bars screaming to get out
the reality so close
but unreachable
the sweet smell of truth tasted on the wings of peyote
the Gods only key to break this cage
and then we wake up trapped again
cigarettes
booze
and cancer
slow suicide,
drawing out the pain we seek to embrace and escape
sadistic masochists
self flagellating monks masturbating with whips

and did they all echo Kurtz?
in that last minute when they thought they closed their eyes to the horrible truth
did they see they had flung themselves full force into the wave?
and did they all echo Kurtz?
seeing the last terror
there is no escape
death only brought them closer to that place
"where pimps run free and good men die"
and in those last seconds
did they all echo Kurtz?
.
.
.
.
.
.
The Horror
The Horror







epilogue:


"You better take care of me Lord, if you don't you're gonna have me on your hands."
Hunter S. Thompson



"And that, I think, was the handle - that sense of inevitable victory over the forces of old and evil. Not in any mean or military sense; we didn't need that. Our energy would simply prevail. We had all the momentum; we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. So now, less than five years later, you can go up on a steep hill in Las Vegas and look west, and with the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark - that place where the wave finally broke and rolled back."  Hunter S. Thompson  Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas 



 

Author notes

I was thinking about the people I admire and was struck how many died by outright suicide or slow suicide by drugs, booze, insanity.
But was it insanity? Were the ancients right? The mad ones were the ones who saw the gods. That vision can be an unbearable truth

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • I so much enjoyed reading this poem. As we all know it does seem most of the greats battled demons.And they all ended their lives prematurely. Even the ones who did not die seemed to just give up after so much self abuse. Thankfully there are people like you and many others who helps them to live on. Your poem is great, I love how you've penned it.


  • celisha
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    Very provacative and intriguing.. Wasn't following at first but in entirety, brilliant!! Great job and thanks for sharing.


  • Manoj Sanyal
    March 21
    Edit | Reply
    nice poem...........
    Thanks for participation.
    Good luck,

  • I enjoyed the choices on your list. Isn't it strange how so many of those whose works shall be forever remembered could not escape the despair that dwelled within them. Some, when they do break free of the downward spiral find that the muse that led them has gone and cannot be regained. Perhaps some of them in the words of Mr. Cobain, found that they were worse and worse at doing what they did best. I would like to add a few names,
    Philip Lynott
    Jimi Hendrix
    James Honeyman Scott
    ceVin Key
    Jeff Buckley
    Keith Whitley
    Keith Moon
    John Bonham
    Steve Clark
    Bon Scott
    Stiv Bator
    Johnny Thunder
    The list of those who have destroyed their abilities through self inflicted poisons is much larger.
    An excellent and provocative write.


    • Dark Prince
      March 9
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks!

      It is by no means a complete list, Micheal Hutchens from INXS, I mean suicide or OD esp in rock, and writers is unreal. The one that surprized me because I missed teh news report was Philip Loyntt from Thin Lizzy. He was also in a great album Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of War Of The Worlds. (Odd concept but great album. ) I was looking at a DVD release of a new tour and there I learned of his death.
      Anyway thanks for the kind words! The thrust of teh poem is For Hunter S., but all past poets and writers are implied

1 - 5 of 5