..
I’m off to the Highlands of Scotland
to hunt for that glorious beast
That is known as a wild mountain Haggis
and is deemed a most succulent feast
I have hired that world famous tracker
one Angus McDougal McBride
Who was raised in the pure purple heather
so he knows where the Haggis’s hide
He’s aware of their tricks and their foibles
that they use to disguise they exist
There are rules that he said I must follow
and preceded to hand me a list
The females, they are protected
in hope of preserving the stock
So be sure when your aiming to shoot one
your bagpipes are aimed at the cock
In looks, they’re identical creatures
so its hard know which one is which
There is only one way to be certain
memorise it and they’ll be no hitch
Because they are mountain side dwellers
they have legs of a different size
It stops them from tumbling over
a balancing sort of devise
The males have long legs on the left side
females have got theirs on the right
So they both run in different directions
when ever a hunters in sight
The hens always run anti clock ways
that’s the easiest way to recall
If by chance she should change her direction
because of her legs she would fall
Well I got me a twin barrelled bagpipes
it seems it’s the weapon required
One barrel calls out to the haggis
from the other hot porridge is fired
Daily we trudged through the heather
hoping to come on a trail
I regularly blew on the bagpipes
my efforts though proved no avail
After six days and nights I was tired
so decided to call it a day
The calls from the bagpipes were useless
in the end I just threw it away
Collecting my bags from the hotel
as I sat there awaiting the bus
I heard a strange wail from the lounge bar
and I wondered just what was the fuss
Slowly I crept to the window
and taking a quick look inside
There were nigh on one hundred wild haggis
providing the drinks for McBride
In anger I stood and I listened
as he sipped on the pure Scottish mist
Saying that’s one more Sassenach hunter
who believes you no longer exist
So I’m off the hills and the valleys
In the hopes to discover the trails
Of a creature that’s known as a Rarebit
That lives wild in the mountains of Wales
..
Author notes
Rarebit is a type of Cheese on toast Known as Welsh Rarebit
A contest entry
- Tell us the story (In rhyme) by cricketjeff.
3500 points, ended March 28, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
I thoroughly enjoyed this! Love the thing about the feet
The males have long legs on the left side
females have got theirs on the right
So they both run in different directions
when ever a hunters in sight
LOL
-
Thank you for your entry in the contest. You left us with somewhat of a dilemma, two brilliant poems from the same pen. Jeff and I loved the humour in this piece. Your rhyme and flow are, as always superb, the story, almost believable
and a thoroughly good read.
All the best in the contest
Sue and Jeff
-
This is a tale in the fine tradition of tall ones. Besides the wonderfully imagined attributes of the Haggis, I enjoyed the element of gulling of the cosmopolitan sophisticate by the cunning provincials.
-
Funny
Don't know how I missed this. lol
A great story for a childrens' book.
You might add a snipe hunt as another story.
-
excellent!
what a trip always a pleasure my friend! always!
-
-
My thanks to you my friend That you made the journey just shows how much of a friend you are I wanted to get of as soon as the Haggis was mentioned
-
-
You have sown things together exceedingly well sir-I bow in awe of such great rhyme and flow-and by the way-'it's a braun bracked naicht tonaicht!!!!
Hilly xxx
-
-
Thank you Hilly this was just one of those silly trips my mind sometimes likes to take. I just go along for the ride and hope it turns out OK
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
