Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

waiting (at the market)





smiling boy in cart waves,
but lil' girl shows no notice -
elsewhere, a child cries












Author notes


"filthy dog eating tools"

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Luciferschild
    March 24, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i love the apathy and the sadness of this poem, especially how two events are unrelated but somehow resonate. great job!!

  • Suzanne Dia
    March 8, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I've missed a few
    love these snapshots
    the light and dark
    how they mix and keep the balance

    nicely executed to my mind.


    • motel silver member
      March 8, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      thanks
      ... been caught up in a haiku binge. I think I'm over it ... well, maybe just one more.


  • Josephine Fredericks
    March 8, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    mysterious

    I love the way that you describe the atmosphere, it sounds sureal yet ordinary but in a gret way, its short and clever,this is a great poem, thankyou for your comment by the way on my poem, once again I think this poem is not only great but a mysterious and amazing way of describing such a simple event as waiting
    from jo