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Ensnared

 

 

 

 

 

I couldn't escape

from your razor-edged Chiclet teeth,

never barricaded my tenderness against you

so your bite went deep.

 

You laughed

with the rest of the Praetorians

as you watched me bleed out

and scribbled my secrets in the puddles.

 

Shouldn't have trusted you anyway -

with your too-wide smile

(a possessed Jack o' Lantern in one of those

Nightmare Before Christmas movies)

porn platinum hair

and coal-smudged honey eyes

 

but I wanted to have a friend like you -

a girl who knew how to dream

and had enough money to buy into

my fairy-tale fantasies.

 

Little did I know

you'd be the one to shred the pages

of my imagination.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Who has the last word now, B*#$% ???

You can't make my life or my words disappear.

But I'm not as low as you - I will never tell the damning secrets I know abou you. I will not become a bottom feeder like you.

Wow that felt good!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Sesheta
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    This poem struck home with me, and now I realize why: I can so relate to that situation! It sucks, and I'm sorry anyone EVER has to go through it. Silver lining: this poem is amazing! The smile is my favorite image, and those last lines touched me very deeply. Bravo for taking the higher road, writing these words, and sharing your feelings.


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    March 14

    Edit | Reply
    Shitty thing when someone you trust fucks you over like that. I think just about anyone can relate - I definately do. Haha good for you taking the high road though...can't promise i'd do the same


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    March 13

    Edit | Reply
    Sigh, this is so sad. I know the feeling to be left and betrayed by people you trusted. And still you cannot be the person to break their trust and share their innermost secrets. Says a lot about the kind of person you are. Perfect. Hope you feel better now


  • The Slant
    March 8

    Edit | Reply
    i love the contrast created by the juxtaposition of "razor-edged" and "chiclet." it does a great job of setting the glamorous grime sort of feeling the poem has.
    "you'd be the one to shred the pages of my imagination."
    perfect way to end this great poem


  • PerVirtuous
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    My my my! I love your voice. Strong, clear, yet vulnerable. I give you an excellent score on the poem, but I give you a thousand times that score for the AN.

    Life is expression. What is better, a well thought out carefully phrased and edited work that talks "about" an emotion or a brash explosion of words that expresses the emotion directly? I always prefer the latter. I think you should just let it all out. Publish it as a poem and I promise you points! Show us what you got.


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      March 6

      Edit | Reply
      Haha, thanks

      Hmm... I'll see what I can do. I really have to be in a certain mood to be angry or write angry - and it rarely happens.

      I'll try


  • usefuldistraction
    March 6
    Edit | Reply
    Visceral and strong...


  • cubert
    March 5
    Edit | Reply
    wow. very cool rage, love. lolol


  • Pure Thought silver member
    March 5
    Edit | Reply
    Strong release here, well phrased. One of those non-friends.


  • Daizee silver member
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    ^5's to you... damn Girl.. lol I read the author notes. Way to drive your point home!

    Love,
    Stacy

1 - 11 of 11