When I was a lad my heart was won, by a
sweet young lass down the lane. So I asked
her Dad, if I could have her hand in marriage
The ol’ boy agreed, but placed the condition
on me, that I build her a fine, grand house.
Still being quite young, I hadn’t the funds
for a plot filled with trees, to use for erecting
the manor…I thought she so richly deserved.
But searching around I finally found a lot I
could afford, overlooking the deep blue sea.
Though it had no woods from which to make
boards, I decided to use stone…of which there
was plenty, and so I set about and dug some out.
I’ll tell you son, by the time I was done
the place resembled a big mausoleum
And when we were wed, and my love planted a bed,
right at the kitchen door, and filled it with flowers and
fragrant herbs; coriander, amaranth and periwinkle.
We laughed in the sun, and loved neath the moon,
and before we knew it, an ovum had begun to grow
And when her time came near, I was filled with
fear, and like a juggernaut…bowling all from
its path, I rushed her to the infirmary.
And now there are three, living happily
by the sea...momma, baby and me
Author notes
Not my greatest work, but the best I could come up with those words on short notice
A contest entry
- All Poets Love To Roll Words Around In Their Mouths ~Take 3~ by Star of Atlantis.
700 points, ended March 23, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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ok i have read all the entrants now its your turn read comment and vote. you can not vote for yourself and you must privately tell me who you vote for and the poem you yourself wrote so i will know you followed the rules. when every ones vote ive recieved then i will give my results.
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wow this poem tears me up a little per i really really really want kids. soon someday i hope, but till then i like that you took the words in my wordbank to a happy and wonderful place. so far no one eles in the contest has done that. your usage of the words in my word bank was very clever and out of the norm. way to think out side of the preverbal box. i like how this tells a story and the rymeing. i must say that the words began to pop up late in the poem and i was begining to wonder how you were going to encorperate them. upon using mausoleum i think you used it in a way that is more like where the word came from which actualy was for a grand house, well it was used as a death house but that was not why it was built, and that you used it as a love house is so much to the good in my opinion if that matters. i want to go play in the garden that you have planted among the lines of your poem cause i am sure it is both fragrent and picturesk. (i know i spelt that wrong, oh well we all know i have dislexia.) i like the whole feel and emotion that i felt was in your house by the sea. i want to live on the coast in or. but who knows if i will ever get my wish. in the mean time i will use your poem to dream about what sounds like the perfect life. good luck in my contest and thank you for partisipating.
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This is a beautiful poem! Not much used theme to describe happiness.
Well done!
Nela
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Nice write. I too gave this contest a try (took it in a totally different direction lol) and it's definitely a challenge.
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so glad that you also entered my contest you are all making my judging of it so hard and i am very happy about that thank you
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Lol wow this was just great, Excellent use of the words and amazing creativity, I love the flow of the poem and the imagery and how you made it turn out to be so light hearted Great work
Good Luck
Romeo -
I love it! You have a talent for writing interesting rhyme!
I am so happy that you entered, the word bank is a bit difficult yet you manage to entertain with your rhyme!
The poem is different, you took potentionally dark words and created a sweet beautful piece.
Great job and best wishes to you for the contest
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I like it...it sounds like a song! lol...even though you said it's not your best, I still think it's pretty good. good luck in the contest!
Toxic Stardust
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