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The Poem I Don't Want You to Read

I feel so cold
like my steering wheel
in early morning March
on my way to work

I hold my coffee like an old friend
that knows exactly what to say
and gives me the warm-comfort feeling
that I so desperately need  

I walk into the house
worn out and ready to crash
and found the note you left me
in my purse,
the first time we had taken 'a break'--
'No matter what
I will always love you'

it doesn't mean shit anymore.






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Author notes

a monday morning kinda mood

Im still revising this piece. Constructive criticism is welcome

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Comments

1 - 36 of 36

  • Yemassee gold member
    August 16, 2009

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    Well I'm the the "You" in the title so I felt no compunction about reading the poem.

    On a personal level, I can feel the hurt because I have lived this poem. Well, what I mean is, I too have found writings professing deep and enduring love from someone who had since ceased to love. It's the doubled edged sword of loving deeply...and of loving to irrationally.

    I like the matter-of-fact style and that despite that you've kept it controlled, at least until the last line, which of course was the necessary drama.

  • Tercarro
    March 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    If you play the guitar

    If you play the guitar you should be writing songs and if you don't play the guitar you should learn. Write those songs and or learn the guitar and put both of them together because I think you were meant to be both a writer of great songs and someone we should all listen to.
    Brilliant.


    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      March 15, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      I actually been playing guitar for a year...lol. but I can't write my own songs....I can't make up lyrics...lol. I don't know...I either, have lyrics and no music or music and no lyrics...lol

      thanks for the comment


  • Auburn Sunrise silver member
    March 11, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Ohhh yeah, gotta love those Monday morning blues. I get them every single damn week! I even get them prematurely now - a sharp drop in my mood Sunday afternoon in anticipation of Monday. LOL.

    But that has nothing to do with how absolutely brilliant this poem is! Raw, honest, self-examinatory. You stare your fears, your pain, yourself down and do not shrink away from what you see - even if you do not like it.

    I do like what I see in you thus far, very much

    What is it about coffee that's so comforting? Pure Thought and I were just talking about that a couple of days ago.

    I agree with Lane completely - there is a wonderful intimacy to your words. It's like you let us in completely, bare your soul - cut it open just to share - and it's so beautiful.


    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      March 11, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      thank you I loooove coffee...I couldn't function without it...especially on mondays


  • mannyamador
    March 8, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    i love your poetry and also were you wrote "i hold my coffe like an old friend that knows exactly what to say" i love that part


  • Dalaney gold member
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    you are one of my top fav writers on this site and the reason being...you write as if you are not 'writing' at all.  there is such an honest intimacy in your work, and it is as intoxicating as a big breath of fresh spring air.  i admire you so much.    Love, Lane


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    March 7, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I love your poetic voice, so delicate and emotional, yet strong. As for the cold steering wheel, well, I have a heated garage, so it's not a problem for me, plus, I have remote start which is a must here in Alaska.


    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      March 7, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      wooo...Alaska! I hear it's beautiful...like breath-takingly beautiful. lucky you ...surrounded by beauty and a heated garage


  • Kuranya gold member
    March 7, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    I know this mood like the back of my hand. They're not worth it in my opinion. Perfect hun.


  • estbelle gold member
    March 6, 2009

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    must be the worst kind of Monday

    'I hold my coffee like an old friend
    that knows exactly what to say'

    such a beautiful line. I wish I also know
    what to say


  • tara wilson gold member
    March 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    i love this, i hold my coffee like this too.


  • Matt E. Smith gold member
    March 5, 2009

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    I really like this...love the cold/hot contrast.. as well as the relateable feeling at the end..finding something someone wrote later down the road and realising how insincere it was


  • Terry Collett
    March 5, 2009

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    Usted escribe con la sangre y hace tan maravillosamente. You write with blood and do so beautifully.


  • Ademon
    March 5, 2009

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    Man, that Morning mood has been like mine for the last month with everything going on...Beautiful write!!! I love it!


  • jmk8602
    March 5, 2009
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    -_-


  • Ken-Maverick
    March 5, 2009

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    Ah yes, one of those mundane monday musing moments hey?
    Very nicely penned and loved that last line!!! lol
    All the best to you

    Ken


  • usefuldistraction
    March 5, 2009

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    Love the way you can take me into your thoughts with your peotry, beautiful. This is not acomplicated piece, however, it speaks to the very difficult navigation of someone "leaving". Powerful and potent truth. Great poetry.!


  • chloris
    March 5, 2009
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    i agree with styrofoam... i love your poems... just like the way they are.


  • styrofoam
    March 5, 2009

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    love the way you write


    I feel so cold
    like my steering wheel

    poetry doesn't have to be complicated (:


    • Catie Sheeran gold member
      March 5, 2009
      Edit | Reply
      ha ha! I just got done reading your poem! funny we were reading each others poems at the same time!

      ya...I am not a very complicated person either...lol.


  • Daizee silver member
    March 5, 2009

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    I find that burning those over a slow flame always helps Great imagery here. I feel like I was standing right there with you.

    Love,
    Stacy


  • sharptooth
    March 5, 2009

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    i hate cold steering wheels :/

    kind of has a trick ending - you think it'll end on a good note, but then the last line comes in.
    and that adds so much more to it.


  • Whyitt U
    March 5, 2009

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    I love the way you describe how cold you feel and you coffee...excellent wording and flow. And the ending just packs that emotional punch right through the heart. Wonderfull!!

    wyattxxx


  • angel with a reason
    March 5, 2009
    Edit | Reply

    great job

    good job. its very emotional but very good. keep up the great work.


  • SimplyNoodle
    March 5, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, This is very emoitonal, I am sorry if sombody ( your X ) hurt you, Good work here, Keep writting.
    ~ Chelsey

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