I smell a storm when you change expression,
the musk of ecstatic sand-
you whisper, whisper;
intrigue, entanglements
hang heavily in the air.
The sky begins to look sorry for itself,
you come on, pressing the stored heat
of an absent sun against the soles
of my bare feet.
The dark heart of soil stirs,
a sweating, ready lover,
naked between mountain ranges;
flowers turn away, embarrassed.
I hide, a thief,
sinner in the trees,
waiting for the turn of your hips
to steal and eat your dark chocolate heart;
and I will howl
I will bleed
you will run, a river to Wrist
I must follow with one pink oar.
A liquid ache escapes,
it is gravel and honey and scotch;
I cannot control my mouth.
You are the colour to conquer me-
root in the grainy pulp of fertile earth
and lay claim to a kingdom of one.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
this is the kind of poetry i like to read over and over... so beautiful.. so sensual. and written so well, i love all your metaphor and your voice sounds familiar to me...even though i haven't read many of your poems..
-
-
that is really cool (I think it is anyway)
Thanks, Tara
-
-
Superb!
-
This is how tastefully love and passion should be written. You capture all the beauty that should be found in such moments. Nicely done.
-
There are no revisions needed as far as my finite eye can see. This is an exceptional work of poetic enthrallment.
Every single line lingers in my heart and mind. There are so very many in-depth levels of love, lust, enamoring, and beauty written in this work.
The second to last stanza makes me swoon. I would not change a thing. This is brilliance in motion, moving mountains to maintain consciousness.
BRAVO!
BRAVO!
BRAVISSIMO!
Much Love & Respect ♥
Renee
-
Wonderful, I love all the sepia in this, it is exquisite.
-
-
thanks!
-
-
Very pretty (:
-
Wow, wonderfully abstract and powerful!
Nicely written!
All the best,
mj.
-
-
thank you
-
-
Well my comments aren't of the quality of the first two, I just like it.
Buddy
-
-
Thank you, Buddy
-
-
Well. This could NOT be more different than the poem I just posted that you commented on, but I find it amazing how connected we poets seem to be to the natural world, whether we see the images and tell a story, or we use the raw materials in metaphor, or both, as you have done here so marvelously. Line after line, I wish I had written! No, I won't steal them, but I might quote them, giving you credit! Lines like "the musk of ecstatic sand" or "pressing the stored heat of an absent sun against the soles" -- WOW! The thing is, I can actually see and feel what you describe, although I would never have thought of using those terms, which are so precise and yet suggestive. I am so enjoying your work, C. Lita
-
-
Thank you so much!
C
-
-
There are far too many layers and too much depth to explore it all in one sitting, one comment.
So I'm going to start with my first, and most obvious, notations.
I love Sepia-toned photographs. I am beginning to collect the old-timey ones actually. I prefer from aound 1880 to about 1915 - mostly because of the somber mood and intense eyes. The features of the face are all washed out in most, except for the piercing eyes.
This poem, in many ways, reminded me of that. A whisper of a being, barely a reflection of them - but such strong mood and intensity behind tightly-drawn lips and intense eyes...
There are so many parts of this poem that are startlingly original and vivdly descriptive. So many that make you go "oh wow" and "ah-ha". The entire thing, though highly abstract and metaphorical, really clicks and feels solid.
More than anything, it leaves an impression on the reader. Not just an image (though yes, the image it imprinted on my mind is clear and lingers), not just a feeling (though it did make me feel), but a mood... an entire pensive mood and understanding.
And that is the whole point of poetry. To transform the way we look at the world in such a way that it transforms us inside.
You accomplish this again and again - but it seems your writing gets stronger and stronger.
One part that really stuck out to me was:
"you will run, a river to Wrist"
I have no words for that... only "ohhh"
Adding your comment:
1 - 15 of 15
