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Boxed

 

wear it,tear it

membranes thick

with time,

stained with meconium

peeling skin,

and fear

crawl out of that womb

old man

live.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Camille Morin gold member
    October 24

    Edit | Reply

    Stunning

    Aiyana! I wish to heaven I were your next door neighbor! I want to know you so I can understand how these perfect words come out of your head. You have an amazing edge in your voice, a strength I need to borrow. This is gorgeous. Come over for some wine and talk to me!

    Love,
    Camille


    • Rheea gold member
      October 25
      Edit | Reply
      I wish we were neighbors! i want to try on all your clothes and you mine as well as your poetry and you mine lol we will drink wine and sweet tea. be children again.. you have any hats?


  • sheltered
    April 15

    Edit | Reply
    but why must you always make it so damn difficult to read with all the distractions and such?

    • Rheea gold member
      April 16

      Edit | Reply
      I have no idea it is as if someone is forcing themselves out of the womb out into the light...where are your glasses mine are perched upon my nose reading these lol.


      • sheltered
        April 17
        Edit | Reply
        i do wear glasses but don't tell cause
        i never wear them in pictures


        • Rheea gold member
          April 17
          Edit | Reply
          me either your so vain... so am I


          • sheltered
            April 17
            Edit | Reply
            just need them for driving but
            sometimes when I pick up
            the next morning
            i wish I had worn then

  • Hard sometimes to crawl out of the womb of fear you mention. Great imagery here.

    Enjoyed your write.

  • Awesome...

    Again with the imagery (love it) & for such a short piece it is impressive work...
    And kudos for the word meconium, I've never heard it before but it rolls off the tongue wonderfully...
    Keep up the good work...
    Well done!!!

  • very interesting, I love it--its a strong short piece--some of poetry's best works, when they're short but jam packed with meaning.
    loved it
    Rachelle

  • Got it. Feel it. Good write.


  • ennovy silver member
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    I feel this is about life, trust, and fears....how some us build a wall around ourselves.....sometimes one needs to just let there hair down......and have fun........beautiful metaphors.........Novy

  • celadia
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    at first it seems to be about skin, thick skin but do you mean aging skin, is that where the old man comes in? It is a bit confusing, but it's also nice and short and choppy. If you could just make it clearer.

  • Sorry to say I just didn't get this one, my loss? By the way, on a personal note, my eyes are not what they were (glaucoma and other nasties) so screen shots are critical. Your pale blueish lilacish on white is virtually invisible. Be kind and just use black on white maybe?


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    Great thought for this prompt my friend.
    It's great to read you once again!
    I wish you all the best in this contest.
    Take care and thanks for sharing it!




    Jeremy0826

1 - 16 of 16