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Two forms, One poem

Spring,
fierce lion
turns into a lamb.
Flowers dance in the sunlight.
Birth

                                        Winter
                                      cold, bitter,
                              snowing, bone cracking, freezing,
                            snowman, sledding, warmth, sunshine
                                  swimming, playing, skipping
                                          hot, sweltering,
                                            summer
                           

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • penman gold member
    July 22

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    Wonderful

    Great use of forms. They fit together so well as one forum. That you for sharing your time and talent.


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    March 14

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    I like the theme of your Oddquain but in my syllable count of your poem, I counted 4 syllables in line 2(should be 3). That should be easy to fix, otherwise this poem is in good form.

    Your Diamante, good form and uses good contrasting lead and end words. Good descriptive contrast shown in the transition between the two words. Very nice.

    Thanks for your entry and good luck in the contest.

    Brother Dennis


  • Polaja Greeters member
    March 14

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    Great Contest Entry!

    I really like the Diamante in this poem - it really stands out with some great imagery - well done!



    Polly


  • BonnieQ silver member
    March 9

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    Both are beautiful poems with great imagery. A spell check does need to be done: subshine/sunshine, playin/playing. Otherwise, you have done a great job on the two forms.

    Best wishes in the contest!

    Luv & hugs, BonnieQ

  • Liquid memories
    March 7

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    spring and winter seem to bring the greatest changes, though the other two seem more graceful. Thank you for sharing these caring heartfelt thoughts. may your entry find success.


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    March 6
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    I especially like the first poem. You might want to double check your spelling in the second.


  • Denerica
    March 5
    Edit | Reply
    Bring it all...spring hurry up!, Love the words leading to the changing seasons. Blessings.


  • quantumsurveyor
    March 5

    Edit | Reply
    I haven't looked at other entries in the contest but these two are rather good I think. I like particularly your transition into summer. Nicely done.

1 - 8 of 8