where is he?
where am I?
and it's all so unsure
I can't see our gold
will he merely fade away with all the rest?
the passing suspects
and living walking bombs
take them and their bodies, for example
they mingle and do not mind that which matters
mind your month status
mind a mental relationship
over a lovely lusty one
playful eyes indeed
greedy too
or maybe I am not true,
not open to a jumble of society restrictions
and possibly over openness
I just require that there is more than a fire
more than simplicity
and more than a joke
more waiting
that I find worth all the effort
others frown upon me
but who are they to judge?
they will not sooner be hitting the floor
and their hearts would easily follow
A contest entry
- A contest just because I want to comment people. by AutumnsFlame.
400 points, ended May 29, 2009, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Anything that can help me make it better..Title?
Comments
-
hmm... This was just alright for me. I think you could have added a lot more imagery to this. Then again, you're only 15 so you're still in the process of learning. Thank you for entering my contest.
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