If we could see forever,
What would we observe?
The sunset alight with angled moon
onto the eclipsed night,
Standing high on the edge of
A collapsed ledge, yearning,
To be the gods, as we thought
we once were.
If we could see forever,
What would we witness?
Awakened by the first bite,
The fruit of the gods,
Became the tree of human learning,
Coexisting with species
Of this world and beyond.
If we could see forever,
What would we understand?
As civilization’s royalty, we became,
The gatekeepers of our own destruction.
Forbidding our land to adapt,
Forbidding jungle’s species to live free,
Inside their own space.
Foreshadowing the oceans garden,
Farmed to extinction.
Humanity unto man has finally won.
Populations bursting,
As towers of heat lace our icebergs,
Melting by second, in metric tons.
If we could see forever,
What would we foresee?
Oh, what have we become?
How, could we have dug so deeply
Into our own hallowed ground.
We are not gods, but specks of dust.
Resting in a shadowed microscopic space,
Riding upon evolution’s tides.
As we rise, we fall into the footprint,
We will leave behind.
Betsy Holzner
Author notes
I was inspired to write this poem after reading a book that changed my whole perspective on how I view the world we live in. In fact, I read all of his books. The book is called Ishmael by Daniel Quinn.
A contest entry
- Earth Hour by Chocolate Chip.
700 points, ended April 2, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tribute To Planet Earth - PW Closed - ONLY ENTER THIS TOPIC by DancingShadowCorpse.
650 points, ended April 19, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Very cool idea and beautiful beautiful beautiful!! I especially love: "If we could see forever,
What would we observe?
The sunset alight with angled moon
onto the eclipsed night." Bravo!
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This is a really interesting poem; a perspective I've never given a lot of thought to before, what would we see if we could see forever? Your description and imagery is amazingly vivid and makes sense in a strange way.
Thanks for the great read!
Blessings,
Katie -
"As we rise, we fall into the footprint,
We will leave behind."
The last line's my favorite.
Nice job capturing your pondering moments. I can't imagine living for eternity, or at least being around since the world began. I think the sadness from what I knew would be almost too overwhelming since we as humans never seem to learn from our mistakes. They don't say "history repeats itself," for nothing. I would have liked to see a line similar to that in the piece. Thank you for sharing. -
"The sunset alight with angled moon
onto the eclipsed night"
Lovely poetic devices, you say this book inspired you to write this masterpiece?
Pray tell where I can buy a copy?
Thank you for sharing this with me, you have done an amazing job writing this, you show brilliant perspective.
Kind regards.
Sophie
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Captivating!
I loved these lines....
"We are not gods, but specks of dust.
Resting in a shadowed microscopic space,
Riding upon evolution’s tides.
As we rise, we fall into the footprint,
We will leave behind."
But the whole poem was so well done. I loved the transition of the minds eye. I couldn't see the pride until the end....surprising ending! This was so deep and mentally stimulating, I had to ponder the words and then read again.
Very nice!
Bravo!
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i, honestly, do not believe i would want to see forever. it would be too overwhelming. thank you for sharing this with me today and i wish you the best of luck in these contests that you have entered. viyanna rosemarie
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great job! you better win somethin! lol
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Interesting write, if we could see, what would we see, would we really want to see? Chances are we wouldn't!! lol But nicely written.
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Very well penned, this is beautiful and the words captivating, thanks so much for your entry and goodluck!
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For some reason this minded me a bit of kubrick's 2001 a space odyssey with the allegorical insight into the future of human life and slow afflatus of the impending doom.
This is beautifully written. And thank you for the wonderful entry. -
nice write. good luck in the contests. and don't forget to tell atleast one other person about Earth Hour.
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Wonderful thoughts!
Thanks so much for entering! Best wishes in the contest...and always! Write on!
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I love the concepts presented in this piece. Very profound! Thanks for entering my contest! Good luck! I'm honored to have you show your work here!
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Humanity unto man has finally won.
Populations bursting,
As towers of heat lace our icebergs,
Melting by second, in metric tons.
beautiful way of expressing......loved it
cheers
abybaby -
Very deep thoughts
The Positives:
I liked how this was writen as well as the imagery you used.
The Negatives:
None I see great job on this
My favorite part:
Forbidding jungle’s species to live free,
Inside their own space.
Foreshadowing the oceans garden,
Farmed to extinction.
Humanity unto man has finally won.
Populations bursting,
As towers of heat lace our icebergs,
Melting by second, in metric tons
this part was extremely cool -
DEEP
I love to question things - and this is a pretty intellectual piece...
it's well written and speaks to me...
the ending paragraph was my favorite...the dust analogy, etc...
Good Job! -
I love this write.
thank you.
love,
jin
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Wow, this definitely got me thinking.
"We are not gods, but specks of dust." This is so true, and the way we treat our home is horrible.
Wonderful poem, don't stop writing!
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Provoking thought expreesed with haunting words. You endeed have a wonderful skill demostrated within this write.
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beautiful
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