If you happened to find your way
How much will you really find?
A picture from 10 years ago
Is so different to the perceptions
You had then and surely have now.
Would your child-self know you?
Would they even like you?
Preachers preach their own beliefs
While struggler's struggle on,
They don't know you, they don't care.
God's supposed message won't be the
Bolt cutters for your ball and chain.
Your image from yesteryear is scared of you,
You've become the enemy and now what?
Cracking open the ball isn't possible,
Mistakes and mischief, molestation and murder...
You smile to the younger you,
Hold your hand out, "Come with me,
You're safe, you're safe now."
You're lying. You're deceiving.
"It won't hurt, not a bit."
But it did. And it will.
A contest entry
- Prewrites Contest by tears.of.silence.
1000 points, ended April 18, 407 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Thought provoking!
Whoa this is deep. I've been thinking recently about I love simple things now like gardening, a drug free life and being silent. I love living in this quiet tiny village and being away from towns, mad rush, loudness and parties and pubs etc.
You've made me wonder what the younger me would've thought of me. Probably that I'm boring but nothing could be further from the truth!
I love the title but the red's far too bright and glaring for my eyes.
Peace Georgia
I apologise for not getting into critiquing as well as you analyse mine but I'm too tired to think much.
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The word color choice for this poem is so hard to read. IT hurts the eyes big time. However the poem itself is pretty good. I would have to say this one is worth a 15 on the wow factor. You have a total of 55 points. Thank you for entering the contest and the best of luck to you. Kahy
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Woah. This is a great poem!
=] -
WOW
WOW your rilly good i love your stile of wrighting -
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Thank you!
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Kick me in da 'Nads...
Damn good poetry, painfully brutal. You are good, and I love the way you line things up- and your vocabulary is strong. Impressed I be. Keep it up!
♥
-James-
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Lol, I would never kick you there.
Hopefully this isn't brutal to read??
Thank you for lovely comment and strangely I can only write when I'm close to having total breakdown these days, this is where this piece came from. 
Love ya,
♥
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This is a very powerfully written poem. It feels painful, as if while you were writing this you were melancholy. I so enjoyed it though...
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Nice!
I like it. I really love the last lines:
You smile to the younger you,
Hold your hand out, "Come with me,
You're safe, you're safe now."
You're lying. You're deceiving.
"It won't hurt, not a bit."
But it did. And it will.
Very interesting dark humor. I love it. Keep it up!
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Humor was furtherest from my mind, rather confused at where you find the "funny" in this? At least you say it's dark humor, not light...
This is actually one of the most serious writes I've ever penned.
All the same, thanks for the comment. Glad to know you like it, so thanks.
ITNC
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WOW! Girl, that's good! Powerful words. <3
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