autumn breezes

it seems easier when my jaw is set,
when my tongue is dead
and my worthless words wont reach you.
it seems better for the both of us that youve dissappeared,
havent left a trace, and havent called,
maybe it's just better that you closed the door in my face.
I still want you to think of me,
with a smile on your face and butterflies in your gut,
but now that just wouldnt make sense,
considering you're the one who left.
I remember nights spent in your arms,
lying on your bunkbed and watching bad movies,
laughing while you kissed me.
those were days that stick with me.
I was stupid to believe something so perfect would last forever,
but my doubts were so halfhearted,
until I saw you hand in hand with her.
I know you so much better than you think,
every smile, every smirk, every snicker, every blink.
a memory sparks from everything you can do,
and I would never want it to.
I dont know, maybe wishful thinking is all i'll ever have,
and maybe it's true, you're the best i've ever had.
but i'm just sixteen, I can get somewhere;
even if you are the only thing in every dream
in every thought and every memory.
I can't help it, it's true;
the best i've had is you.

-lacerationxllama