Scalpel of hope in steady hand
the artist makes first stroke.
Parting skin down to bone
he reaches damaged yoke.
Saw of life cuts deep in trunk
removing, broken limb from tree.
Clearing away the useless dead
that’s been rotting inside me.
Titanium ball and shaft held tight,
skilled blacksmith hammers home.
A re-connection of moving parts
to take me wherever I roam.
Baby steps are taken at first
for granted I’ll take no more.
Kinder to this body I’ll be
with spare parts from the store.
Author notes
http://beyzasultandurna.deviantart.com/art/Heroes-122480715
Theme: A poetic view of “Total Hip Replacement Surgery”
With a positive mental attitude infused into the write.
This theme is completely relevant to me, due to the fact that I am still recovering from this very operation. A total right hip replacement Which was on January 28th 2009 On June 10th 2009 I will be going into the hospital for a total left hip replacement. Ouch!
Topic 3. SurgeryA contest entry
- Sick of lazy contest hosts? by Floorboards.
1150 points, ended March 10, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - So, You Missed Another Contest! by queenie.
1800 points, ended April 11, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 43 of 43
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thank you for entering its a wounderful take on illness and disability.
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Im guessing your prompt is t#3
thanks and goodluck. -
Bandits United!
Think I read this poem a little while ago, but now I hear another adventure on the other hip is underway..You brave soul. Know about surgeries, myself...and the surgery is just the beginning, I know...You have penned a poem full of imagery and some humor...Never can have enough of that! Cheering you on!...
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Bandits United!
I'm sure many can relate to this poem. It is well written.I like the images and upbeat language you employed! I hope and pray everything goes well.
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Bandits United!
Had to come by again! All the best with your new part & healing. Praying for you.
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Well said -- having had both knees replaced, I understand a little about what you are going through. Again best wishes. Lita
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This is Primo!
See what comes from trials....fantastic writes! This is better than HM...keep entering this...it's sure to get a Gold! It's worthy. All the best with your new hip replacement. I had that put to me, but I'm too ill to undergo that & the therapy involved. The surgery would probably do me in. You're a strong man with a reason to live...you've gotta be around for that sweet daughter you have. I love the cadence of this & your rhyme. You've a great sense of humor. Heal quickly.
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Good Luck!
Great job on this piece, but OUCH! Bluesman I have been under that old knife more than I care to tell you, so I understand. I knew a woman who had the very same thing done. It wasn't all that long until she was running up stairs! I was amazed, since before that she barely hobbled, always took the elevator until that day she passed me on the stairs. I asked her later and she explained about her two hip replacements. Just like you she had the next one before completely recovered from the last. But it didn't take her long in physical therapy to get better faster. I will keep you in my prayers and hope you heal quickly. I loved your poem by the way.
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Excellent rhyme and meter
Though I am no expert - I know what I like . The title is awesome - Spare Parts. Amazing how many of us have them these days...thank you for posting and sharing. All the best in your up-coming surgery.
Best Regards,
Cheryl
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Very well done. I love the 'spare parts' metaphor. So true. Have you ever seen this operation done, me and my husband watched it on Tv, but after he'd had it done. He said, "shit, now I know why I'm soo sore".
And he praised Jesus too for morphine too. lol.
Good luck, hope you have a laptop.
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Wait until it's all over and when you're getting better you can shout "HIP HIP HOORAY!
Good luck to you..
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hehehee...now that's cute. lol.
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Understated
But clearly put! Bill, I can hardly wait for the poem you will post after the operation and all its healing and physiotherapy are done! It will take more than time to have you up and dancing, but what a wonderful change it will be!! From one who knows-- A new life begins!
Best of luck ALSO in the competition!
Terry
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Wonderful poem William. Heal well.
Paul
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Nice Work!
Good Luck with the Op
&&
See You Back Soon!
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congradulations on the Greenies
this s well said I will be thinking of you!!
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wow.....
that was awesome!
the pic kinda freaked me out caz i dont like blood all that much tho
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wow
very brave
great rhyme
all my prayers to you!
may God heal what He indeed loves
God bless you and yours
love and light
a billion 's
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You thought highly of the surgeon! Enjoyed this write.
Congrats on your trophies and thank you for entering my contest. -
Good luck on the future hospital trip definitely not something I would look forward, too, but you have done the subject justice and put a positive spin on the experience in your well-written poem.
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I know of someone that had this done as well. You did a great job with the imagery in your poem. Congratulations on your HMs.
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Descriptive imagery weaved with wisdom makes this a brilliant write...Life lessons learned through surgery ....a contemplative write excellently penned!
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An enjoyable read regarding a painful subject-Good flow of the Rhyming Verse---Well Done!
PS--I hope you heal quickly & Completely!
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oh my friend
I know the pain of back/metal frame work as I call it,
and open heart surgery, I know the pain!!! you must have been in agony,Now I hope the outcome is fantastic!!
M
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For now I'm doing just fine, but on June 10th I'm going into the hospital for a total left hip replacement to match the right hip.
Ouch Ouch Ouch Pain and suffering.
If I was a masochist, I guess I wouldn't mind
But I'm not! So again Ouch Heheh
But before that happens…
On June 1st eight other poets and myself are releasing a book of poetry. Fifteen of my poems, will be published in this book titled…
"The Inner Spirit"
US and LOA Book Project Group
Bill
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"to take me whear ever I roam." "whear ever" would be "wherever".
Other than that: a good poem that you have written here.
-Nam
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Lordy, I know just what you mean. I've had a knee replacement done myself. It is not much fun but better than the crippling alternative is it?
Totally with you on this poem, maybe I relate too much, Oweeee!
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well it didn't miss a contest but i'm glad you entered it in this one. i like the way you took a personal situation and gave it poetic voice and you did so with great rhymes. thanks for entering.
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From Piccola's old guy: I like your use of whear ever I roam. ( perhaps wear ever) it is a great pun. Bravo to you.
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i think I've commented on this before, but I still think you did a wonderfully poetic job, on such a painful topic.
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I love this! How poetic for a hip replacement...makes me want one!
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Here are my scores.
Imagery. 18/20.
Metaphor. 18/20.
Feelings. 18/20.
Grammar. 20/20.
Enjoyability. 17/20.
Total. 91. Good score!
Thanks very much for entering and good luck!
Floorboards. -
I can't even come close to understanding this pain although I did have to have a ligament in my knee replaced. It took awhile to walk without a limp and even after 4 years I feel pain. I remember the Dr. saying, "Good knee to heaven, Bad knee to hell" telling me how to walk up and down stairs and which leg went first LOL. I still say it to myself.
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Ouch!
I know too many people who have had this surgery. Having suffered a severe back injury myself, I have some clue as to the severity of pain associated with it, but I don't claim to know the whole entirety of it. You have my utmost respect and prayers, for a complete and far less painful recovery. Those 'baby steps' deserve marathon trophies, (and some good painkillers)as far as I'm concerned. Excruciating, but you did an awesome job on your piece.
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Wounded and sad. That's what I take from this. May just be my mood. But, if not, see a skilled blacksmith.
This was thought provoking and painful to read.. but I mean painful in a good way. 'Baby steps' made me
but that is because I still have the teens and I love them, but so miss the baby in them. Ah well, too much wine be happy if you can be x
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Oh, I see now that I was totally wrong...! no change there then! and that you really are taking baby steps. All my very best in that endeavour. Sorry to have read this in a self indulgent way! x
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Sounds like a hip replacement, oww! I felt every twist and turn of scalpel. Then as I see, it was a hip, well, I am glad you arn't my surgeon, you'd have to lullaby me to sleep.
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I parked the walker and started on the cane only last week and I'm still bedridden 90% of the day. Relearning how to walk is a cruel twist of fate I was not expecting at age fifty. I will be going into Hospital at the end of May to have the left hip done
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This poem, although about hip replacement, reminded me of my fathers back surgery. He has a steal cage wrapped around his spine and he often feels what your poem has described.
Well written poem. Keep up the great job.
-deadly -
wow - great images and wording to depict that operation! One can 'feel' the pain.
I hope you recover quickly!
best wishes in the contest
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EEK!!! Most have been a very painful surgery but I am sure all worth it in the end!!! You did an amazing job bringing the surgery to life with your poetic words!! Well done and best wishes!
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Yikes!
Well done!
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Now this is one out of the box it is so different and very original an excellent write poet
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