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Expectation …

We opt to hide our lonely heart,
Put forth a face that masks each doubt -
Then chart each step to speed fresh start
And hope to overcome the drought.

We cope with life’s sweet misery
Find friends in those who understand,
While love stays veiled for absentee
And soul mate for our promised land.

We stroll that playground in our mind
And seek to find that hidden eye -
So we can put the past behind
And reap rewards of new supply.


© 2009 Joy A Burki-Watson

Author notes

2. write a poem in similar style and length of chosen poet.

Revelation by Robert Frost1874-1963 -- 26th March 1874

We make ourselves a place apart
Behind light words that tease and flout,
But oh, the agitated heart
Till someone find us really out.

'Tis pity if the case require
(Or so we say) that in the end
We speak the literal to inspire
The understanding of a friend.

But so with all, from babes that play
At hide-and-seek to God afar,
So all who hide too well away
Must speak and tell us where they are.


http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/6337-Robert-Frost-Revelation

A contest entry

All comments are appreciated / answer in kind!

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Errant Panther gold member
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    lovely piece to be inspired by and you have done well in emulating the form and imagery within your own poem. I especially liked the line "... seek to find that hidden eye". well done.


  • totheend
    March 12
    Edit | Reply
    it is a really good poem, keep it up.


  • leo2
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    If it hadn't happen to me I never would have believed I could find a woman could accept the "total package".....me. Good luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long

  • Bad Bill
    March 5
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely poem and you've really caught the flavour and style of the original. Good work.

    Bill


  • Treasure 5 gold member
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    This was very beautiful. Love the way you went into detail, And the flow was awsome, it was a pleasure to read.


  • MargaretG
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very interesting re-imagination! The style is indeed very close to the model, and the depth of insight is similar as well. I like your poem very much, and feel harmonious with its thoughts.
    I felt line 3 a little hard on the tongue, could be me. May I suggest "find friends in those", the plural?
    Good luck!

1 - 6 of 6