I don't understand
Why I am the way I am
My vision clouded
My words fierce
Claws slashing at someone's heart
Hopes brought high
Then slaughtered
Story of my life
Here let me share it with you
Dash your desires as well
Like the dark soul I am
Swallowing yours just because I can
Stupid emotions get in my way
Can't think straight
Might as well disappear
I'm doing no good here
Won't you let me go?
Just throw me into the snow
Throw me a cold shoulder or two
Show me you care
You fool
Blood dripping slowly
Fast rushing thoughts no more
No more freaking whore
To stand in front of you with her lies
And deceits
Can you finally see clearly?
The one you hold dearly
Is bleeding on the carpeted tile
Simple complexities pouring from her lips
With each dying breath
She wakes with a pain unlike any other
A weight she carries cuffed to her wrists
No key to the lock
Just a bunch of baggage
No closure; No nothing
Just empty space in an empty skull
Author notes
I am not really lying... I held back a truth, but I said what it was tonight...
A contest entry
- Emotion by Sharitti.
900 points, ended March 5, 2009, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - just make me cry by KadieKatastrophe.
425 points, ended March 4, 2009, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tough Times by borrowing.moonlight.
1100 points, ended June 17, 2009, 65 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think... And be honest
Comments
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Okay first of all, I like the title. It is long, but I enjoyed it. Good job arranging the colors too (sorry visual appeal is important too).
On the poem: Absolutely wow. Rarely doesn't a poem really surprise and/or amaze me. Well done! I loved this poem, I loved how you had the intelligence to know how to use your rhyming without overdoing it, I think that's extremely important to a poet. I loved the content, and can relate to certain lines (like all of them). And, from a completely critical standpoint, your form was very nice. The whole thing was realistic, which is sometimes very valuable. Thank you so much for entering, and I wish you the best of luck. Nice write!
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i like it, very describtive, thank you
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Wow!! Such sadness but such great emotion. Your wording was written with such imagery!! Thank you for entering
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my love!
No matter what I will always be there for you through the good times and the bad.
No matter what I will always be there for you to lift up the sky when you feel its crashing down on you.
No matter what I will always love you for who you are even when you hate everything about yourself.
No matter what even when we fight and have our stupid little disagreements on things, I will still be here for you.
We can take all the time in the world to get over all the small things but just to let you know I will still be standing here forgiving and forgetting all the bad things that happen between us.
Neither of us are perfect and we both make mistakes, but thats life, you make mistakes and learn.
My mistakes were the fights, and now I have learned to forgive and forget because I know its for the better, and
No matter what I will be your friend until the very end, even if it means losing you a million times...
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