The folly of my heart,
The tormentor of my mind,
The captor of my soul,
These walls,
This darkness,
How long have I been here?
Limbs tethered tight remain,
Arms absent love’s embrace,
Sitting in my padded cell,
Bound with the anguish of despair,
Within these walls a shroud of doom,
Amplified silence sounds maddening,
Hums of breathless oxygen,
Exhale, no heart beat left to bear,
I cannot say when I lost track of time.
Perhaps it was when hunger took hold,
And my lips seemed like a fitting meal.
My tongue followed soon there after;
Incomprehensible screams are now my only company.
In this mind whirling numbness,
I vaguely remember the involuntary stick,
A prick of sharpness and a tinge of burning,
As poison seeps into my veins rendering me helpless,
Toxic love bleeds dark and sinister,
There is nothing left, naught for me to do,
Seeing that the we in us is falling to pieces;
Much like a glass shattering against the ground.
In untold attempts to attain freedom,
My finger nails decorate bloody streaks that seem almost mystical.
Blinding rays of light molest this darkness,
Reminding me that there is a world outside this mournful place.
If I were to yelp in surrender,
Would you unlock the door?
Or would you sit and enjoy the plight of my dilapidated soul...
A contest entry
- For those of you, with less than 10 trophies -anything goes- by Guapia.
700 points, ended March 15, 39 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me feel it-Contest for heart wrenching poems by Guerrero.
400 points, ended June 3, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites & critiques by aeolia.
400 points, ended September 12, 87 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites!!! Come take a look! by CentrifugalCorpse.
1250 points, ended September 7, 224 entries
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1100 points, ended November 27, 212 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is very descriptive... I like it... I do think that maybe if you broke it down into stanzas it might make for a better read, seems a bit rushed in my mind...
Thanks for entering
x
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I can't get enough of your poems. Amazing write. Is this coming from expirience, or imagination. Which ever...this is absolutely amazing. I look up to your writing ability. I want to be just as good. This is great. Speachless...
Spoken -
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Thanks for taking the time to read and review my work. I wish I could say that this comes from imagination. Unfortunately, my heart still carries the scars from my battles with love...Thanks again.
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great write. question though. is this describing the feeling of losing someone or something? i loved the image given by this piece, you have a mind for imagery.
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Oh, my...This one moves me it is so real, and so familiar a scene..Solitary confinement...It is some people's tragic hell. You with your brush of imagery have painted the reality of one souls hell....and I am stunned by your creativity...Excellent penning!
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The imagery of this piece is brilliant.
Well done!
Nela
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I love the metaphors and imagery in this piece. I take it, it's a poem of how the poet feels alone from love's abandonment, that's what I read from it. great writing here, I am featuring this for "Today's Poem"!
~Raven
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Toxic love bleeds dark and sinister,
There is nothing left, naught for me to do,
Seeing that the we in us is falling to pieces;
Much like a glass shattering against the ground.
ohh amazing imagery.
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well done =]
i love this poem, it's from the heart and has a great rythme,i love these lines in particular:
"If I were to yelp in surrender,
Would you unlock the door?
Or would you sit and enjoy the plight of my dilapidated soul"
i love these lines because i know the feeling.
keep writing =] you're amazing
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" ... There is nothing left, naught for me to do,
Seeing that the we in us is falling to pieces;
Much like a glass shattering against the ground. ..."
these lines really hooked me in this captivating piece ... great images showing self-imposed desolation and anguish.
congrats on the bronze.
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Does what many people fail at
You have written a truly atmospheric and interesting piece of poetry, that could be read over an over again this is defiantly a favourite of mine, thank you for entering! -
well you penned a very
deep. thought provoking piece here! well done!
If I were to yelp in surrender,
Would you unlock the door?
Or would you sit and enjoy the plight of my dilapidated soul...
this line and the finish is so explosive!
Rend
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I don't usually like this kind of poetry, but mainly because so many people try and fail to hit the notes you've executed perfectly. I like the word yelp. It's good imagery, the flinching shudder you can picture. Good work
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