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Puppet Strings Bleed

Missing image
The red planet Mars, so bright in night sky
burns in the blood, of young men with an eye
caught in the gaze, of young maiden so fair
their defences collapse, ending in sigh.

Blushing face beckons, rose wreath chain in hair
impassioned Pied Piper, hormone thick air.
Spellbound young Turks, fall helpless to defend
when Siren sings song, of love sick despair.

Venus and Mars, earthly life will pretend
playing their proxy's, false love will transcend.
in blood red emotions all lovers will cry
in hopeless romantics, broken hearts mend.

Author notes

http://jump-button.deviantart.com/art/soulless-puppet-108861399

Prompt: The Color Red on any shade of red
              INTERLOCKING RUBAIYAT

Schematic: A three stanza interlocking rubaiyat would be:
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Form Round Contest - Round Two by Little Eagle

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • The Poetic Angel
    March 21, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    good write from the prompt ...

    ~Judie


  • PerVirtuous
    March 16, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    A very interesting take on how to meet the prompt. I think the title lends a wonderful explanation to the poem. Great work.


  • Hetha
    March 13, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    You truly nailed this prompt and added your own unique spin. Good job on the form too. Good luck in the contest.


  • AllexisReed
    March 13, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    Really good form. You are very talented.

  • piccola
    March 12, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    nice form. What courage you have to step out on the edge and try something different. I admire that.


  • Dark Otter
    March 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply

    You did well!

    Your work has gone to a higher level. I see allusions, mythology, alliteration and some good rhyme. That creates a very vivid poem.


  • Nickelspring silver member
    March 3, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I love the picture that you've put with this, it shows it so well. Love the imagery, especially how you've woven in the planets.
    Great!
    KW~


  • Titus gold member
    March 3, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    The contraditions, mars/venus. the battle commenced, you put a spellbound both like as if we have put ourselves in the Roman era of classicism. bold work, and will be hard to beat,


    • BluesMan gold member
      March 3, 2009
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you for the wonderful comment. Comming from such a talent as yourself I'm flattered.

1 - 9 of 9