How can you say that you'll make it all okay?
Don't you understand that this pain can't go away?
How can you keep calling and apologizing to me?
You've done enough now just let me be
You say that you were drunk and didn't know what you were doing
But I kept saying no, did the booze affect your hearing?
And all your friends told me that you were totally sober
So keep lying, see if you can dig that hole a little deeper
I was ready to call it a night and gave you my number
Told you to text me in the morning, cause I was ready for slumber
You seemed like a nice enough guy at the time
And you asked to walk me home, To make sure I got back all right
But when we got back to my place, you didn't leave
The alcohol running through my veins made pushing me down an ease
I felt panicked but the tequila told me to rest
To just go to sleep as your hand moved up to my chest
I felt sleep coming on but at the same time was so scared
I didn't have the strength to fight back, I was much to impaired
So instead i pleaded in whispers "No, What are you doing? please stop!"
You just replied "shh" and crawled on top
Thank God my phone rang, and my roommate woke from her sleep
And told you to get out, you no-good creep!
I reached for my phone to see who's 3 am call had saved me
My friend was calling to see if i needed anything
I keep thinking it's my fault the way I dressed or danced
Or if I'm a magnet for pervs who can't keep it in their pants
How does this keep happening to me? You'd think a girl would learn
You'd think I'd think more after the first time I got burned
How the hell did I end up this way?
I used to be so strong I used to be so brave
Now I break down in tears at night and tremble when you call
Feels like I'm trapped, like I'm backed against a wall
I ignore the texts and the calls, I don't believe what you say
The only thing that you're sorry for is that things didn't go your way
But your touch haunts my dreams and I wake up in a cold sweat
What you did to me is a nightmare that I can't forget
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Very disturbing words,I hope it helps to get them out into the open. There are many here who understand how it feels to be betrayed by someone you trust. There is still goodness out there, don't give up.
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OH man, this story sounds so familar, just without the savior of a phone call, or a room-mate. I am so sorry. This was such a beautiful and deep write.
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thank you for commenting and i'm sorry that you also had to go through this
peace, love, & cheese
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wow... this is really good. i'm so sorry you were put through that experience though.
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thank you for taking the time to comment!
peace, love, & cheese
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nightmares are something that you can't run from. Can't see them, can't physcaill kick them away, it frustrates my loved ones...they can't help me from something that tortures me, as i suffer from post traumatic stress and nightmares are what i get.
as hard or as not possible this sounds, dont let them control you. it took me the longest time to realize that i can control what goes in my mind, and i have a small say in what comes out. do not be beaten by nightmares, and this poem brought back to many memories for me...wow. a very relational write!!
mylee
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thank you for commenting and thank you very much for your advice!
peace, love, & cheese -
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*tips hat* always a pleasure to spread a small ounce of light where it will be accepted.
mylee
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Awe, sweetie, it's not your fault. This was very hard for me to read and I totally understand what you're going through. I can relate to this. *hugs*
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thank you
peace, love, & cheese
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