Each night my sleep finds me dreaming of you
But not who you are, but who I once knew
The way that we were when we would both gleam
Back in the days when I knew what to do
Red flows through my mind, a most haunting dream
With its monochromatic color scheme
The wretched color reflects in your eyes
And down past my throat, emitting a scream
The rain that will fall whenever one cries
I watch in hate as each red puddle dries
I try to forget each word that you said
When I should have known that it was all lies
Each night I'm waiting for dreams that I dread
When the crimson starts its flow through my head
I only hope that you think of me too
That I'm the cause of your dreaming in red
Author notes
i w a s a k a l e i d o s c o p e
A contest entry
- Since Plautus is dead... by Brian A.
1700 points, ended April 19, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold for Gold. by Mercury Rising.
550 points, ended June 15, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Roald Dahl once said in one of his short stories that authors and poets often add in one long complicated word in their work to make their readers think they are smart how ever this can also has an adverse effect.....try not to over do this in your writing however it is a fantastic piece of work so that is a yes.
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Wow. I really like the style you used; the form was beautiful. This poem is beautiful. Thank-you very much for entering this piece into my contest, and good luck.
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I am well familiar with the 'Interlocking Rubiayat' form, and have used it on several occassions, so I really enjoyed reading your excellent poem. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
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OH I LOVE IT. the first line really grabbed me i know how that feels i am so inlove with this man and we kept breaking up and i would find myself thinking back to when we were happy and when he was someone different. greatly written piece dear. thank you for entering
xox
Tash -
simple yet so powerful...u used the form well...
good luck
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This is really cool. I like the form, it flows very well. the use of color as a way of bringing forth emotion reminds me of "Sin City". My favorite was the final stanza. Honestly I think it stands perfectly well as is. I offer you no criticisms.
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Awesome and darkish job, Katie-Sis! I like this one a lot. (In retort to your comment....I did not know that anyone could have such a fear! But have you seen Final Destination 2? If so, remeber the guy and the ladder....ew...) Thanks for sharing a great write, sis! Awesome job.
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haha I saw one of the final destinations just not sure which one
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Well, in 2....this guy is trying his hardest to escape from a burning window and goes out a fire escape and he winds upp falling on the ground, and the ladder from the fire escape falls straight through his eye and he dies......ew
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haha well i definately didnt see that one... but it sounds super gross =D
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Interesting concept. Great for the prompt. Good luck.
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I like the mood here. And the rhyme scheme is awesome too.
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I really love the flow of your poem, effortless rhyme. I'm not sure I would want to dream in red!
This is great!
KW~
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