bushfire warning -
one green tomato
on the vine
.
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Awesome job :]
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at first, because i'm young, i didnt like it
but after look at it for awhile
i liked it
instead of just reading it
i visualized it, i really like it
i just see this barren land with tomatoe vines
but only one
and off in the distance theres a bush fire blazing
in a way it's soo pretty
but awful
not your poem but the image of it
it's sad :'(
great work
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hmmm... im confused. i like the haiku, but what does the bushfire have to do with the green tomato on the vine???
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what is a haiku?
Good question. Thanks for asking.
A good haiku is about two different things. That's what makes it a haiku: a juxtaposition of images.
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Haha, this is great (:
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well done
I like your haiku, it works. But, and maybe I'm behind the times, isn't a haiku supposed to be 5 7 5?
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syllables
thanks for reading this.
yes, you're right. some people learn that a haiku must contain 17 syllables in the format that you mention. other people learn other important guidelines about writing haiku - such as a break in the syntax, and a juxtapaosition of two different images.
the haiku is a wonderful form and I enjoy writing them.
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So...are you telling the bushfire where to go? Is that the joke? In Australia this probably isn't funny. Maybe I should be responding to the form...but...I'm too tire to analyze...content is king.
Maybe it's mildly funny.
I'm not sure...I have no criticism or judgement...only vague opinion... -
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bushfire
Thank you very much for reading this and for leaving your comments. it's always interesting to see how people respond to my haiku and your perceptions are helpful.
I live in australia and no, I didn't mean this to be funny - it's meant to show a juxtaposition of two different images. but i can see how my first line can be mis-leading. I'll think more about what you have expressed so honestly, because i'd like to get this haiku as right as possible.
Cheers,
Myron. -
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Possibly my internal voice acting up again. Interpretation reavels as much about the reader as the poem.
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Great
It's perfect for what it is. I'd give a longer review like I usually do, but there isn't anything bad to point out. It's interesting and I like the concept. -
oooo! this is amazing.. very well penned, i love how it has such wit to it.. great!
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this is a form that i am not very good at and i admire those of you who are. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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Kudos on your very inventive haiku. I still wish I could write an especially good one. But yours is great...with your bushfire warning - make sure you take your one green tomato with you - it just might be your saving grace. Sorry about that, I couldn't resist. However, the picture you give us here is perfect. Why would you feel the need to revise it? I think it's great.
Joan
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revision
Thanks Joan - you are always so nice and uncritical. All poems have weaknesses; that's why they are poems in the first place. I like this. but i think it could be better.
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Well, I am in the mood for a fried green tomato!
I like your imagery, though I can't ever remember seeing a tomato vine with a single green tomato on it. They usually have several.
I don't quite understand the bushfire. Do you live in southern California? It's not bushfire season here though, not quite.
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bushfire
yes, there are usually many tomatoes on the vine - but i ate all the others, LOL.
I live in Australia and recently 200 people died in the bushfires here. -
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Oh, I am very sorry to hear that.
Every year here in California, thousands of acres get burned, and many homes are destroyed in the process, but the mortality rate is usually quite low because they evacuate the homes. It is usually the ones fighting the fires that get killed. We call them brushfires. Only one letter's difference.
I remember years ago, hearing about a fire in Australia that burned millions of acres. Hard to imagine so much open space.
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this made me picture a "bush ablaze " with an excessive amount of red rippened tomatos-- or in this case, soon to be
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ablaze
Thanks Falling - i like your perception on this haiku.
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Sharp contrasting images (destruction/new life) sharing the same scene, interesting mix. Write on!
Dennis
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contrasting images
Thank you very much Dennis. Yes, I agree - an interesting combo...
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LOVE.
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applause
Thanks Jessica. very nice of you! are you ever coming back to haiku class? I miss your cheeky attitude! -
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Oh I will - I just need to glue my occipital lobe...promise! HAHA
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occipital lobe
yes, LOL - you'll certainly need that! Why not staple it back in, so it doesn't come loose again? -
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I shalleth.
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Very good haiku, myron. It shows the macro and micro look at the area-with the fires and what is happening in the garden.
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perception
Hi susie! Thanks for reading this and for telling me your interpretation - nice!
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a wonderful haiku thank you for sharing
maralisa
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sharing
Thanks maralisa - good to know you have read this haiku. Any suggestions on how I could improve this? (It's your chance to fail me, LOL!)
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