ow, it hurts,
my soul is receding;
back - to before it was born.
All I see is the darkness,
and it keeps calling for me;
reaching with white fingers of death.
Brick walls are erected -
curling into the fetal position.
Author notes
40 words
Picture prompt: Fog by ~Ohaniella
A contest entry
- Quickie by February Moon.
400 points, ended March 3, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What to do in an insane world?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"back - to before it was born" oh i like this line alot ... i dont know why.. but beautiful
"Brick walls are erected -
curling into the fetal position.
" is this ment to be an oxymoron? it is very good i enjoyed this poem..
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I really like this one because I can relate, I have been there an honestly you have captured the hopeless despair in it! Good job and keep it up!
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very good
bravo -
the ow didconfuse me a little, but i get what you are trying to do, and i like that idea. great take on the prompt and good luck
Stephanie ♥ -
I was about to say the exact same thing she said below me
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I really like this, but I don't like the "ow" at the beginning. Other than that, this was beautiful.
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