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Ships


conversation turned to ships
that passed in the dark
not knowing the other was there

he said he was a garbage scow
and I thought
no
what an opinion

a barge for cargo
or a tug for work
a freighter or steamer
at least
or a container ship!

and myself
a canoe or rowboat
for small distances
not true either

a mid-size sloop
flying before the wind
finding new shores


A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Lyndon gold member
    May 9
    Edit | Reply

    I am a log in a jam!

    Bully for you, though!
    Yes, this is dignified and the point is not labored but well-taken.
    Ron.


  • cubert
    March 30

    Edit | Reply
    I love the concept of worth/value communicated in this piece! It seems to defy attempts to turn the romantic into the everyday. You already know I love the images you chose to express this!Wonderfully written! Congrats!

  • Lyndon gold member
    March 30

    Edit | Reply

    Shipping lanes ...

    I have this feeling that life could be a breeze if we all had sails but that is not quite true.
    Analogous methodology has proved an interesting slant on things. I dare not extend the analogy and ask you what port you are bound for.
    Whatever, I have enjoyed this splash in the ripple of my night. Best wishes.


  • Yemassee gold member
    March 11
    Edit | Reply
    ''garbage scow''

    I've called myself that before. I suppose it mainly makes for an interesting analysis. Was he being self-effacing, being flippant at the question, or maybe making an unpretentious statement of what he believes. You can analyze not only the statement but the motivations of what made them. A great opportunity to understand someone maybe.

    You know what is interesting, "your" (the poem's speaker) can be analyzed for the same reasons:

    ''and myself
    a canoe or rowboat''

    is probably an intentional understatement, just as the "garbage scow" was. But you know that, as you then go on to state, so you should understand where "he" may be coming from.

    Your last assessment is more honest. A little prodding might have produced a more honest reply from him...if the garbage scow line wasn't honest to begin with.

    What kind of boat am I? I don't know. I think I'm just a dead log floating in the water. Maybe with a sprig of seaweed attached...oh yes, and a horseshoe crab sitting inside a hollowed out section eating some shrimp(the crab is eating the shrimp, the hollowed out log doesn't have any teeth)...maybe I'm just a buoy,

    Why is your assessment of yourself more pleasing than the one you have of him? It suggests that maybe your assessment of him and his own aren't that far different.

    I'm not sure what kind of boat I am but I know the kind of cereal. I'm definitely Fruit Loops.

    • MargaretG
      March 12

      Edit | Reply
      Analysis. Thanks for applause, and this very interesting exploration of thoughts. You think differently from others, that is certain. It doesn't matter, it's all fiction.

      • Yemassee gold member
        March 12

        Edit | Reply
        I should have just said, "Good job, keep it up" then. Hope you weren't offended Margaret. The comment wasn't meant to be.


        • MargaretG
          March 12
          Edit | Reply
          I was about to ask your pardon for using the same words you did.


  • maa gold member
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem, and the boat-metaphor !
    in this case, I'll join the fleet and describe myself as a "boat with neither sail nor rudder - staying away from crushing cruiseships"


    • MargaretG
      March 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Marion, that is a funny idea. I wouldn't venture to describe you.


  • Keith
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    Catamaran, twin hulled
    Which lightly skims the surface of the sea
    Gondola, single-sculled
    Which wanders like a jerky water flea

    Clipper, fully sailed
    She races like a phantom round this ball
    Not ghost-ship, never hailed
    I don't like the Sargasso Sea at all!

    Keep flying before the wind. 'Tis the only way to be, me hearty! Garbage scow indeed! Yeeuch!

    Lovely poem. Made me dream. Thanks.

    • MargaretG
      March 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the rhyme, Keith, which launches from the poem to wonderful images. Our thoughts shape the world: let's think the most beautiful ones.


  • klassy lassy
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    Margaret, this is a wondrous poem. How we think of ourselves...you take me from ignorance and drudgrery, and inadequacy to something substantial in grace, beauty, and function, in a sense of newness and exploration. Ships seem to have personality--people definitely do--but this also draws on character and purpose to take on new horizons with eyes wide open.

    I like it very much! ~ Karen


    • MargaretG
      March 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Karen, your experience in reading is similar to mine in writing.

1 - 14 of 14