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Mourning Star

I watched my last sordid sunrise

as it gave birth to its own death

in the form of blooming twilight,

and I let death take me

to the deepest recesses of darkness

where I dreamed

of sunlight hours.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • And Hyetal
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    I love the background colors.

    And this poem of course, but yeah.

  • I love this poem.

  • This seemed fairly twisted but rather deep. I really enjoyed your poem and look forward to reading more.


  • camus gold member
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting use of paradoxes in the opening lines. The second line was very cleverly written. Pity it ended so soon - was just enjoying my read and you'd gone - like a shooting star.

  • I love the circular nature of this... both with the natural cycle and the emotional cycle. As always your word choice is gripping and totally manipulates the reader. Amazing!


  • xeroabyss II
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    Makes me think of Miltons Lucifer, recalling his last morning in heaven before the rebellion and his casting out.

  • sordid sunrise

    i love that,
    this whole thing is beautiful,
    painfully sad.
    i love where you took the prompt,
    excellent write.

    ElectricBloom


  • CaliOkie silver member
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    With what we most enjoy, contented least. It is in our nature to most want what we can not have. To give a thing up and then realize how much we miss it . . . that is a truism.

    Excellent write.

    Garrison


  • Whyitt U
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    this is just lovely...so small, but packed with beautifulness...if that actually a word. A wonderful take on the prompt. bravo!!

    wyattxxx

  • oh, i really like this. its amazing, hehe. dreaming of sunlight hours, beautifully said thanks for entering, and good luck
    Stephanie ♥

1 - 10 of 10