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Entering the Land of Endless Possibilities

Missing image

Keep inhaling!

Do not let it steal

your breath.

 

Smile, then weep.

This should show ...

your gratitude.

 

Make its language

lip-perfect for you,

eyes and hands

co-ordinated.

 

Do not let on.

Pretend this territory,

this tiny graveyard,

is not rare but ordinary.

 

The green-lapped deep hole

stretches out to engulf,

a mere yawn in your affairs. 

 

Wear your visitor's badge.

The door's open

for your return!

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Endless possibilities. Fewer than 51 words. I wrote 49 words above.

A contest entry

Please critique.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • 2lullabyhaven
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, you took me rather deep on this one, wow...thanks for your entry and good luck to you


    • Lyndon gold member
      March 4
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      for the contest and the award. Ron. .


  • MargaretG
    March 4

    Edit | Reply
    It is a mysterious event, but I hope I can approach it with a sense of adventure, like all the other unknowns of my life. Finally we will see what is there. I like the hope I see in these lines - it is "not rare but ordinary", so true!
    My only apprehension is that "it" in stanza 1 may refer to the photo, and without the graphic will seem opaque.


    • Lyndon gold member
      March 4
      Edit | Reply

      Dear Margaret,

      You are correct. Now the contest is over, I have rectified the poem in my own way. Thank you. Ron.


  • frownsnfreckles
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    Love the irony of this piece Ron! A light touch to a grave subject. Good luck in the contest. 'rose'


    • Lyndon gold member
      March 4
      Edit | Reply

      Freckles, thank you!

      I am glad you saw the irony and you like the familiarity. Ron.


  • Kikai Ni
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    It started a bit suddenly, much like Beethoven's 5th. The words were very cleverly woven, very graceful. I can feel your smile in the fourth stanza, kind of secretive, like something just between the two of us. Beautifully done, my friend


    • Lyndon gold member
      March 4

      Edit | Reply

      Dear Kikai,

      I can see you understood my method. Thank you!
      Actually, I'd never compare myself to Beethoven!
      Ron.

      • Kikai Ni
        March 6
        Edit | Reply
        Oh, I'd never compare myself, but if I see a similarity in anyone else's work, I jump at the chance, just to spite him!

1 - 9 of 9