That bloody car won't start again
I don't know what's left to do
All mechanics have worked on it
Between here and Timbuktu.
It has these funny mood swings
Just clicks like something smitten
Then away it bloody goes,
Engine purring like a kitten.
Cool and comfy on the road,
Smooth as a baby's bum
No rattles to speak of
Just the noise as the tyres hum.
Then just when you are satisfied
That it's going really well
You stop at the supermarket;
Now what the bloody hell?
IT decides it will not go,
The starter just won't turn.
If I could afford insurance
I'd make the damn thing burn.
When I've almost pulled my hair out
And kicked the panels in,
It's starts up like a dream
And heads home once again
But I'd like to have the engine
Start every time I try,
Not test my fragile temper
Or make the missus cry.
The car electrician said,
Just bring it in to me.
I'll fix it's lousy mood swings
That's my guarantee.
First I had to get it started
It won't start for me , so
The missus took the damn key
And she gave it a go.
It gave in and started purring
I spent no time at all
I went straight to that electrician
The one I was forced to call.
So he took it in and I waited
While they tested everything
All the wires and the whistles
And bells that did not ring.
They found a broken wire or two
In the computer what's it's name
Fixed them up with solder
Now the car's a goer again.
I came home in a hurry 'cause
It took three hours or more
That bloody car WILL start real good,
If not, it'll burn for sure.
Author notes
You may have guessed by now that we were having problems with the car. You are right.
Comments
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Made my chuckle. These modern conveniences can turn out to be not so convenient after all.
Maybe she would respond to being called Betsey and given extra oil as a treat. Sorry, I tend to personify these inanimate objects.
Enjoyed your write.
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We are stuck without transport out here. Too far to walk to the nearest shop even. I'm sure the damn car knows it too. Thanks for your visit and comment. I'm glad you had a chuckle. We always have the old utility to use so we are not stranded.
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Utility
Sort of like a runabout for short trips?
Cheers -
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Sort of like a pick-up in USA. Front comfortable with seats, back designed to carry loads up to one tonne. Make good vehicles to run around the farm, specially all wheel drive models.
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I enjoyed this immensely. I think we are so reliant on machines that seem to have their own personalities these days. Your car sounds like it could be related to the Microsoft Vista systems tray. Something else full of gremlins!
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thank you my friend. we are all far too reliant on machines of some sort, and the damn things seem to know that. When they feel treated badly the damn things hold us humans to ransom.
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Good work
I kow what you mean,Great like poem good message, love the imagery here and the thoughts behind it. you done a great job. There were no errors. No typo's and nothing to change as far as i can see. I look forward to your next one.
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Thank you for your comments and thoughts. We had a frustrating with that car for a time and it needed writing about to put it all in perspective.
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lmfao mate... love it, the rhythm suits the tone perfectly, can just picture you kicking them damn tyres
still giggling mate... loved it... reminds me of my first, a Mk II column change ford cortina... absolutely loved that car
cheers
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Should have kept that Mk11 mate, just like I should have kept mine. I still have a ford but it's an auto fairmont. Just another car, no character like the old Mk11. Beauty when its going and cruises all day, no problems. Found the cause, the computer circuit board had two broken wires in it. Sometimes they touched, sometimes they didn't. Still got the old ute in the shed, goes like a dream every time a coconut.
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the MKII was the bomb mate, but honestly, my fav was my VG Valiant, 245 hemi, 350 Holley carb. .. that thing started every single turn, and just had such a sweet sound to it, double pipes, I was a young man in heaven lol dont build them like that Ute anymore mate.
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My Mk11 was a good one, not a bomb. My first car was a 32 B model ford with a 48 mercury V8 fitted. Now, that car could fly.
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sorry mate, by "bomb" I meant it was magic
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Some were bombs. I had two mates who were mechanics and mine ran smooth as silk. Free services make a difference.
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Funny!
I enjoyed this funny tale, very much. I'm sure many have been tested by the same experience and many a car has been thrown onto 'rubbish tip heaven' as a result!
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Many thanks Lilly. This car is coming very close to 'rubbish tip heaven'. Got everything fixed, starts like a dream, runs well, and now the battery is flat. Not much left to go wrong now, but; - I wonder.
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Well done Bob. I'm sure that a lot of people can relate to the frustrations that come with owning a car. They are fine when all is working ok, but when things go wrong it's very tempting to throw a match in the fuel tank 
Thanks for sharing this
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Many thanks Julie, This car was bought cheap, and had many little problems at the time. I t has it's compensations and is quite economical and comfortable most of the time. Lis challenged me to write something about THAT car, so I did.
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