At times the pools fuel my dreams
and pan chlorine.
Indoor nacho stands
court cream cheese and bagels,
whilst Gatorade washes 'em down.
Blurred goggles gray the relays
but ignore shriveled scrotum
and ear infections.
I bought a blade to shave time,
and weeks of stubble
Bubbled. now
dreams mock and rhyme my drive with
"mime".
I want back
that tiny frame I sported
in an era when sex and taxes meant naught to
a fraught boy;
when Girls were but faster folks.
I raged then
At rapids and rap,
but there was less to regret.
Author notes
i swam competitively year round for over 10 years, from age 7 through 18.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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not worth much to hear it but i know how you feel in reference to both the nostalgia and the inability to express yourself as you intend. i keep having dreams about "my youth" which shouldn't even be over but feels like it is. the "sex and taxes" part is cool. I get that. I asked someone recently if he remembered how exciting sexual encounters were when they were new, and whether he ever thought about when that went away, and how sad it was. it didn't seem to click, though. although this piece is nothing particularly outstanding stylistically speaking, i think if you made the lines more even in length and meter you could easily get away with the simplistic word choice, which is probably a good match for the content. keep it up. seriously.
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yeah i have a real issue with meter cuz when i am actually writing i have a rhythm in my head that i follow, but when i go back to it later that rhythm is gone and i realize that it's just totally random and sounds bad. i think maybe it's cuz i listen to music often while writing. but at the same time i honestly hate the idea of adhering to a strict pattern throughout an entire poem, whether that pattern refers to rhyme, meter, or whatever. so maybe it's a matter of finding a good balance. thanks a lot for the comment though. i know it was fucking forever ago but i didn't log in here for several months and for whatever unknown reason i'm back and into writing poetry again. also: i don't really know why but i enjoy reading your comments on my stuff, and also reading your work and commenting on it. usually you have something very helpful to say, and i appreciate it. thank you.
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