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room...

There was poetry in cool winter air
that settled from high ceilings to floors
as night brought deep still skies close,

in dark eyes that shone as distant stars
were soft gleams to a waiting smile.

Words took on the cloak of things
not shared beyond the warm closeness beneath
its folds, breath asked little and gave so much
then gave little and took-in all, in darkness 

it became a slow and easy place
like sea and shore in ebbtide

softly spoken love...
its echoes are still there...
in a room that would keep them.


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  • Mari Goes gold member
    March 7

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    You can write beauty in such a special way. I love the image of high ceilings...

  • tara wilson gold member
    March 5

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    "softly spoken love...
    its echoes are still there...
    in a room that would keep them. "

    a sigh poem, this is gorgeous, i have to agree with ten, what a holding place for sure, but i love everything about this moment here and of course something like this does not leave a room -- this is such a beautiful poem


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    March 2

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    What a holding place!

    There is so much beauty in these few lines! You can almost feel the air settling...something about the consistently single-syllable language of "as night brought deep still skies close" makes that settling of the air seem to happen in slow motion... and how fitting for the eyes to perform the duty of stars in such a settled-sky setting. The reflection of them upon the "waiting" smile gives such a sense that this moment has been anticipated, imagined, looked forward too with great pleasure... and here we have been given a peek of the moment of fruition. A wonderful effect.

    There is such intimacy in that third stanza...something so treasured it is only shared here in secret where it is "cloaked," "not shared beyond the closeness" and "beneath" the folds. There is such emphasis made by the varied repetitions of this idea.

    This part was thrilling to read...

    "breath asked little and gave so much
    then gave little and took-in all, in darkness

    it became a slow and easy place"

    Loved the experience of those lines. Just stunning.

    The ending... the room... becomes something a bit more concrete, something tangible and permanent that gives the idea that this experience can ever be revisited. The idea of containing such beauty (in a place with necessarily high ceilings)is something that the heart would dream of, and yet here, it seems so possible.

    The power of words...the "poetry", "words" and "softly spoken love" take on an essence here that goes beyond the normal perception of words. And as a technical point they bring a thread of unity through the poem... from the memory to the now.

    "in a room that would keep them"--Again, Such a holding place! Loved this one lots and lots.

    ten