My mind is sending out warning flares
that I couldn't see and you didn't care
to inform me of. Day one of the breaking
point.
I fall into pace with every other balancing act
that this bright hallway has to offer. Textbooks
monitor my view of each polished tile placed
under my clock-work feet. I march forward to
a place of make-believe criteria and numbers
that hide in the alphabet. I know that you'll
be waiting. First row; second seat from the
wall. My seat? Second row; second seat from
the wall. Close enough to touch. It starts.
Day two throws me a curve ball that my
bat can't comprehend and the umpire
doesn't see. "Better luck next time,"
You chuckle and pitch again.
I walk in the door with minor hesitation and
try to focus on breathing. You turn ninety
degrees in my direction and your words don't
miss a beat. Late bell rings but you refuse
to turn away. You're determined to make the
blood rush to my face and my eyes skim the
cracks in the floor. With your hands glued to
everything I know, I wait in a bitter attempt
at refuge for the clock to signal my escape.
A kiss leaves me scared to death and hoping
you'll make up your mind.
Day three sways my perception with a
dizzy waltz and leads me to think optimism
and leave doubt for the pessimist. I
know you're not right, but I let your
judgement override my own in an
attempt to win you over. My heart
resorts to digestion when you tell me
of love ballads and faraway miracles that
I'll never witness; afterall, she is not me.
Betrayed was hardly the word. I could see
the pink in your cheeks and the anxious
anticipation in your feet as you revealed
what we knew all along. But more, what I
knew all along. My face was a monitor of
my internals as my heart reacted to gravity.
[You refused to watch.]
Author notes
"Time's glory is to command contending kings, To unmask falsehood, and bring truth to light."
In a list
A contest entry
- Creativity by InsanityisAmusing.
475 points, ended April 6, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - .:. Take My Breath Away .:. by DecorusApparatus.
1400 points, ended April 14, 42 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Feed me Imagery-- I'm hungry. by Samantha Marie.
1000 points, ended May 4, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BEST prewrites; anything goes! by perfectsunset.
550 points, ended April 5, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 25 prewrites! make it a good one :) by etoile.
800 points, ended April 14, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥♥Broken-Hearted, You're Leaving Me Deserted♥♥ by BrokenHeartsInVain.
542 points, ended May 29, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Woah. Oh my god. INCREDABLE imagery, extremely well written. I think I love the last line the most. ''My heart reacted to gravity'' WOW. This is absolutely amazing, I can't believe that anyone could convey feelings on paper so well.
Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest! ♥ -
Great write. Thanks for entering
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wow this is amazing. I loved the way this is written. it's so unique and interesting. the imagery in this is fantastic as well. great poem.
goodluck and thanks for entering -
ohmygawd. hahaha. you were right. this is pretty much my life. or was my life. whatever. (;
-Day three sways my perception with a
dizzy waltz and leads me to think optimism
and leave doubt for the pessimist. I
know you're not right, but I let your
judgement override my own in an
attempt to win you over. My heart
resorts to digestion when you tell me
of love ballads and faraway miracles that
I'll never witness; afterall, she is not me.
...
pretty much the most hauntingly and gutwrenching image written. i definitely know where you're coming from. i love the whole "i know you're not right, but i let your judgement override my own in an attempt to win you over." <---no lie. me to a "T". beautifully penned, and just how you wrote it was captivating. i absolutely love this. even though the feeling sucks, it's nice to know you're not alone in the world. haha♥
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exactly.
Lol.
it sucks that people have to go through the stuff to know how to describe it.
: P
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Wow. this was amazing!
Loved your style,
it's so original.
Beautifully crafted piece!
Thanks for entering & best of luck -
wow this is amazing....finalist for sure... thank you
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...goodness...I must say I am incredibly impressed by this...the whole structure of the piece and the pace creates such a chaotic and descriptive effect...the repetition, the detailed directories...all this in my head...ooh...love it...you definitely deserved to be in the finals...
Oliver
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The first to go onto my finalists list.
You totally drew me in.
Breath = Gone.
Thank you for entering this into my contest.
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Wow, thanks(:
I'm glad you liked it.
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I was interested the whole time I read this, and I enjoyed reading it. Great job. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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this is a good write from you. i like the way you kept my interest throughout. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
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I like it, just not a winner. Thanks for entering!
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This is wonderful. You pulled me in very quickly and held my interest throughout. Two areas confused me, "attempt/at refuse for the clock "
and "My heart/resorts to digestion ". I think the difficulty is word choice. Take a closer look at those and at "internals". You don't really need the brackets in the last line but that's a matter of choice - yours, not mine. Very good writing. Buff
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