Most men dream of meeting mermaids
whene'r they sail upon the sea,
and I alas, when tasting salt
am of that same philosophy.
So imagine that, late last week
when a mermaid I did espy
as beautiful as ever seen
'Twas quite a pleasure to the eye.
To most men it's a simple thing,
to love one, what could be prouder?
but I am not an everyman:
-- I stewed mine up in a chowder.
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Author: Do you need to ask?
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Author notes
Non-entry
It fits a bunch of the options if I stretch it just right. 
In a list
A Shocking Tale Of Horror!
Comments
1 - 64 of 64
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That poem was mythically delicious. I love a good guffaw at the end of a poem, and I had one.
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LOL, I used to write a lot of lame humor, this was a brief return to it. Thanks, will make my way over to return your kindness tonight. Work calls now.
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Oh, this is delightful. Fun, fun, fun. Although I must admit that reading the comments are almost as much fun as reading the poem. Thanks for making the end of the day a little less somber!
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lol...this is delightful! My nickname happens to be Mermaid...although I don't think I'd taste very good in a chowder
(maybe if you added extra potatoes and pepper?)
Love, Lane
"Splish-splash"
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Is it really Mermaid? You like to swim...or do you, like the sirens, lure men to their doom? lol My nickname? "Hey you" seems to be the most common one.
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lol....well, i hope it's because i love the ocean and i spend a lot of time in it when the weather is warm. Hey you! come on in...the water feels great
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Stick my feet in the water? That is too much for a turtle...hey wait turtles like water...I better find another symbol...an ostrich maybe, lol
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A group contest...it's my sworn duty to annoy everyone in the group with lame entries.
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My dear Yem, I would love to see a Mermaid, I reckon that would be mind blowing, but not to eat one.
To see one sitting on a rock singing their mournful songs,
now that would be something.
Great poem you've written.
Jen
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Dear Yem,
What does a mermaid taste like? I've never been game to try one 
Oh well, to each his own taste. 
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I'm supposing your mermaid chowder is the cream based variety which is why I decided to comment.
Mermaid can be chewy if not cooked just right. Did you save some for Bertha?
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Awwww Yem, you ATE a mermaid? How gross. What did she ever do to harm you? Do they taste like fish?
I reckon too that this is the best mermaid poem ever written.
Hine
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This is so profound, Yem. And truely must be THE best mermaid poem ever written. If you turned this into a novel you'd be up for the Pulitzer Prize. (Is there pulitzer Prize for poetry???)
I'm glad this is a non-entry... it gives the rest of us a chance at a trophy
Dee
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Oh, groan! Delightful twisted ending! I'm feeling a bi embarassed to say that I really enjoyed this
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You think you are embarrassed? I wrote this sad thing! lol
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It wasn't really a mermaid, but oh well...
You need new glasses, Yem. 
It was a very pretty fish, though. 
But you thought you were eating mermaid and therein lies the CRIME OF THE CENTURY! 
Waaaaaaaaaa!
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Yes, I need glasses. I ate the mermaid just for the halibut. Oh that is a bad joke, halibut...hell of it...never mind. I'm
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A Shocking Tale of Horror (if there ever was one)!
Though I think I know you pretty well,
that ending made my hair stand up and curl!
Hitchcock's got nothin' on you!
I may never eat seafood again!
♥ Maureen
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HA HA!
Loved this mermaidy crazy taley!
I thought I saw one once as well - Whilst scuba diving, but it was just a shark dressed up in tights!
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Hm, I'm inclined to analyse, but this is just a joke.
Cute rhymes, well done!
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Don't analyze Margaret! You'll find out that beneath the poem I'm a closet mermaidogynist. If that word really exists it shouldn't! lol
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Dear Yem,
Although your mermaid poem is written
in fancy, fun and frippery
I'm not, by mermaids, really smitten
'coz their boobs are far too slippery.
And what invariably makes me curse
as frustration prevails,
they have no legs and, even worse
their tails are clothed in scales.
I cannot stand their fishy smell
and wish you'd chuck them down the well.
However, you have certainly written the best poem i have ever read about mermaids and I wish you best of luck in the voting. Hugh (R.)
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I'd toss the mermaid down a well but I was hungry for fish, and you probably know how expensive good fish is...so...
Thanks King Hugh.
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Oooooooohhhhhhhh,
I hope I don't have to change
my story line or that Guy knows
better how to treat a mermaid!
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Who'd know that mermaids tasted like chicken?
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Chicken of the Sea
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Yesterday morning you promised "weird"
and man, did you deliver. Aaaaaaagggghhhh!
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Sir Ima has promised me that his will be weirder.
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Ah, how much weird greatness
can a reader experience
without a Victorian style
faint to the floor????? -
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Great comment! lol
Victorian faint...hmmm...Sir Ima might use that.
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Merci.
Forgot how to say it in Latin. Actually, don't think
I ever knew! I remember root words, infinitives,
ablative case....assorted things, like tantum ergo,
sacramentum, ave maria....
Yes, Ima's alter ego with the spats, cane and top hat
could have formal Victorian sensibilities,
on his good days!!! -
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That is more Latin than I know. I just know how to look up silly Latin quotations.
Yes, he's a dapper fellow that Ima but he knows how to roll up his sleeves and drop things in wells when needed.
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In excelsis Deo.
agricola, agricolae
Ima's mutiple personality,
the dapper front,
and then the back side,
cleverly sculpted with those
crafty veggie carving tools,
making ripples and and v cuts
and petals et al. Oh, what a demon
he could be! -
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Ever see the Johnny Depp movie "Sweeney Todd?" Well I see Sir Ima a little like Sweeney. Or at least for the next poem I do.
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Poor Ima!
I remember Angela Lansbury being Mrs. Lovitt
in Broadway version, late 70's I think, saw
clips of it during Tony awards.
Johnny Depp version--think I saw clips,
enough to chase me away!
But you know how I avoid scary!!! -
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Oh of course! Not your kind of movie at all. But I liked it. I didn't even mind the singing ad I hate musicals usually. Well Ima's version won't be that bad. You won't see the blood splatter, lol
Being silly. Ima will be devilish but not too evil.
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Remember, his lovable side has
endeared him to those readers
who see his Fred Astaire
similarities! Yes, not Yemish,
I know.
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A wild bunch of chowder craziness! You must have a cauldron instead of a pot.
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Did I tell the truth or what? The best poem ever written about a mermaid...well, about eating a mermaid, lol
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Let me never be accused of denying the Truth!
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Of course now I have a hankering for a nice siren stew.
You are an honest woman to see my poems greatness. I think I'll feature it, lol -
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and you WOULD
wouldn't you!!!!!!!!
Share with all, indeed! ... so that they may know the Truth and the Truth would make them free.
...too late for the Mermaid, though. -
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Good one! lol
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hahahahhahaa..! and i totally thought we'd be bustin into some kinda fishy romance scene..! ..you must have been pretty hungry..
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HAHAHAHA! With the cold spell the eastern seaboard is going through right now, a cold fish just doesn't seem all that appealing. I am waiting for you to submit Mayne's Mermaid Chowder to a cooking contest.
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You can always find love, but a good chowder is hard to come by!-
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How many best poems ever can one man write! Pet rabbits, mythical creatures. . .whats next
~nva
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I can't help it, I keep producing masterpieces, lol
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Pass the chowduh, Bobby. What? You don't get it? I'm not surprised.
Very funny Yem. Sure easier than shuckin clams. You think of everything that's why you're Yemaster.
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chowduh
Ever watch the Simpsons? Mayor Quimby?
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Isn't that what I wrote?
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You changed that didn't you?
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Sir, what are you suggesting?
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I'm suggesting that you changed that didn't you!
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Why, I have no idea what you're talking about.
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I might get it. You mean the Kennedys?
Why would you not be surprised? Most people think I'm very smart. I'm hurt. I need some chowder. -
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Oh poor you! I was nice at the end of my comment.
I need to speak to the management. There's a fin in my crock. -
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and an eyeball.
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Here's the nose. I know they're your favorite.
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I'll write a story about it. It'll be little more graphic than the last one. I don't remember cutting the girl's head off last time.
Ok, that is weird, even for me. -
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Me transmitte sursum, Caledoni!
translation: Beam me up, Scotty! -
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Batman? Why are you calling me Caledon? My name is Cesario.
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Wouldn't it be Yemesario?
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Yemedon.
We're boring people. lol,
I think I finished my limerick. I forget.
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