Wild men and women
Protecting their border
The thing they posses
I am in order
Senseless kicks and punches
All without a notion
I walk between them
I am poetry in motion
I paint a gentle picture
Of what is in my mind
With the paint of my father
For he was just so kind
Chaos rules the streets
A town is in flames
People scream outside
I know not their pain
Destroyed is half my home
Replaceable I think
This chaos had a start
The energy crisis is the link
The economy was falling
The whole story is sad
People depended upon money
It all just got so bad
But I am not effected
I walk with no fear
Because I will go to heaven
When I am done here
Embodied in me
Away from this terrible pain
Is the strength of a believer
Who will never fall to hate's bane
A contest entry
- Tea Time at the End of the World by fjola.
530 points, ended March 11, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Hm, tis interesting. The rhyme sceme is.. Um.. Well, i used to do it alot! Lol. Not bad though.. No. But it is interesting.. The meaning behind it all. ^-^ You should add backgrounds to fit the themes though. It may help in the contests.
-
Your poem flows very well, and the word choices are rather lovely; and you have clearly followed my theme! The one thing that I would change about this: I would suggest breaking up the poem into stanzas, maybe three or four lines each. Besides that, I think your piece is nigh perfect.
-
-
I took your suggestion. Sathendra.
-
-
Yay! Now it's perfect. ^_^ Good luck in my contest!
-
-
Adding your comment:
