without a girl on your lap
i want you to see
the story in my hands
will you, willow, whisper to me
tell me your secret in the shadow of the tree, just
meet me. i'll show you the colours in my eyes
let you learn the curve of my lips
i shouldn't.
could i?
wouldn't be the first.
i see the flowers in your head & the
the darkness you think i can't comprehend
why am i not good enough
not small or tall or brunette or curved or
whatever it is that you want- enough.
satin chestnut hair, diamond eyes
body like water when you're
oh so deprived
i'd like to be your oasis
i'd never be enough
& how does it feel, i wonder,
to have no part of you left untouched
Author notes
http://allpoetry.com/Miss%20Splenda
all righty, well, i found this poem i wrote a while ago, and it's about something i wanted to say to someone, but i knew they wouldn't understand or appreciate it, so... i wrote an emo poem about it instead. =P the format's all dainty because the words are intense and kinda harsh at times; it's power dressed up in a weak package... what i felt like when i wrote it. maybe weak isn't the right word... but unintimidating, cute, the way us girls sometimes make ourselves seem. i feel awkward posting this, since i don't really feel like this about anyone anymore, but... ah, well. =P
A contest entry
- You sealed my lips with neon bandages; by thegirlsafaultline..
900 points, ended March 31, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very good(:
I liked this alot.
Your metaphors were amazing.
[satin chestnut hair, diamond eyes
body like water when you're
oh so deprived]
Yeah, I loved it.
Great write, good luck.
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aw, thanks =] good luck judging!
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reminds me of the quote from the book missing angel juan, 'i want him to see the flowers in my eyes and the songs in my hands'
although random rhyming isn't a fav it still alot better than end line rhyme ha you did beautifully well


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you know, it totally does, damnit. i didn't even realize i was echoing her when i wrote this! dangerous angels is probably my favourite from flb!! anywaaays, thank-you =]!
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its not a bad thing to echo someone and it's not like you took the exact words and used it, in fact it was just a really good interpretation of the quote that i happen to see
so no worries! <3
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thanks! <3
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