Worry when things dont go your way.
Worry when you get lost and become stray.
Worry when everything is wrong.
Worry when your so weak you feel you cant stay strong.
Worry when everything wears and tears you down.
Worry when your so vulnerable, in your weakenesses you drown.
Worry when the one you love is in danger.
Worry when to yourself your nothing more then a stranger.
Worry when you cant help the one you love.
Worry when its hard to believe in the man above.
Worry when you cant help yourself.
Worry when your thoughts damage your health.
Worry when your in pieces from falling apart.
Worry when there is nothing left in your heart.
Worry when everyone you held close is gone.
Worry when everyone thinks your feelings are wrong.
Worry when all your worse fears have met.
Worry when you feel dead.
Worry when its time for your final resting bed.
Give me your worse criticism, dont worry i can take it.
Comments
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Wise and profound...
"Worry" leads one into ontological thoughts, and strikes good sense in the inner soul.
In admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU -
Hey Dustin .This one is amazing .I want to pin it to my wall .The repetition works well .Keep writing !!!!
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i loved it. at first, i didnt like the repeating lines over and over but after a while, i decided i liked it. great rhyme as well.
gypsy -
I loved it
it makes sense and tell the truth about all people. Not matter what we will always worry about something. Keep writing.
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okay this one isn't bad but I don't think you need all those worry when... the repeat is a little much... But not really a bad write. Just drop some of the worry when...
Worry when
you don't get your way
you get lost and become stray...etc.
I think it would be better that way. Give it a better flow too... I think.
Just a suggestion as this is your poem not mine you do whatever you think is best. Just keep writing you definitely have talent. -
yess... these are reather panickyy situations! i like the repetitions... you made it sound impactful!
keep penning


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