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Forms

Dark
Amazing,
flowing like water
from a gods palm, creased and lined
Dark.

Fear
Painfull and deceptive
Decieving, recieving, believing
controling and haunting, powerfull and destructive
Goading, Falling, Reviving
Uplifting and Foolish
Bravery.

A contest entry

hope you like it pls use constructive critism

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Haiku-bless-you gold member
    March 14

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    Good syllable count and form on your Oddquain. An interesting poem to ponder.

    The Diamante has good contrasting words. (You don't need the word and in this poem, comma's will do). Good descriptive transition between the first and final word. Nice Job! Thanks for your entry and best of luck in the contest.

    Brother Dennis


  • Polaja Greeters member
    March 14

    Edit | Reply

    Great Contest Entry!

    These have some lovely imagery in them, although I would ask you to check the spelling - but that is just a little thing and can be fixed with an edit well done!



    Polly


  • BonnieQ silver member
    March 9
    Edit | Reply
    Both of these are really good. I would, however, suggest a spelling check: remember the rule of thumb -- I before E after a C; deceiving, receiving. Also, Painfull/Painful, powerfull/powerful.

    Best wishes in the contest!

    Luv & hugs, BonnieQ


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    March 6
    Edit | Reply
    I love the Oddquain. Beautiful image.
    Diamante, check spelling. Are you supposed to use "and"?