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Her Soul is Mine

so as quickly as the city did light up,
filled the darkness in your heart
and cleared the dust from your lungs,
were you alive again. ( ? )
you held her in your arms

you screamed to the heavens,
a cry that defied him, that
shook him from where he did
stay
so saddened were you when you
found her there;

dead and lonely;
( m i s s i n g y o u ! )

and even now, as you rock her
and keep her so close to you,
you know she was never
yours

she was always mine

i found it quite strange and
usually hilarious
how you did try and save her

you never really understood the way i'd make her smile,
or why, Oh God, did she love me more. ( ? )
and even now as you cradle the gone life,
you still are so full of forgiving thoughts and
even, dare I say it, love for her

so many thoughts do poison you, and fill your
heart with absinthe and the lover's
burning kiss

you wonder now, was it all worth it to her,
the way she felt when we were together,
the way it made her heart beat faster
then it'd ever known

you now lose it, you're crying now,
for this dead girl,
and I must say,
it is kind of heartwarming.

you can't help but think of that burning smile
the way it broke through the pain in you,
and brought back the better days
the same red lips sit still, and fade
into cold, with such awful gloss smeared all over
them, telling lies and consuming them too

["and now; as you see your name in city lights, tell me, is the lipstick deciet really worth all the tears falling like sleet?" ]

and still ! you fight for this life that's
already came and gone, so little did you
understand the short time between us
before we did part

your tears hit her face, and slowly,
one by one, as it rolls down
you can remember
[ as the liar is washed away ]
and your heart misses her;
your daughter.

the truth is, the needle is still there,
leaving it's love bite//scars and laughing at you,
with me!

the skies had never known,
such an awful, wicked noise
as you scream into it once more
trying to settle a score
that was written long before
you started keeping track

and now your life is gone and empty again,
and you feel so alone and sad,
cause she had never known,
she had always been the heroine in you,
but i'll always be the heroin in her.

and the silly, little truth you still don't know
[[ c a n ' t f o r g e t ]]



h
e
r

s
o
u
l

i
s

m
i
n
e
.






x

Author notes

"and now; as you see your name in city lights, tell me, is the lipstick deciet really worth all the tears falling like sleet?"

Yep.

Drugs are for dumbasses, kiddies. Don't do them.

by; l a i n n e y l o v e l e s s

A contest entry

What did you think of this? ;D

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 25 of 25

  • Starsthroughskies
    November 6

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent story! thoroughly enjoyed this piece now for some {blood}..


  • aanika
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    you should probably change your username in your author's notes. i had to hunt through all of the other contests this was entered in to find out who you were.

    your diction is great, and your imagery.
    thanks for entering.


    • midnightnursex
      June 23
      Edit | Reply
      Oh crap, I'm really sorry. I totally forgot that I changed my username ): sorry for the inconveinence!


      Thanks for reading and commenting. (:


  • innocence jaded.xx
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    Gaahh, I love this. The story behind it is brilliant, and I just adore how you penned all of this. It was very well phrased, and the bit of dirty-pretty you added in there was incredible.



    Thank you for entering♥


  • libel -
    June 12
    Edit | Reply

    yes


  • heavenbird gold member
    June 11
    Edit | Reply

    yes, but you'll have to step up your game.

    please wait for the other judges comment.


  • ember silence
    May 29
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful. The prose is original.


  • Kathraina silver member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    Strong imagery and emotion invoked here.
    Nicely done with this piece!
    Bravo


    ♥ Kate


  • FluorescentFixation
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    Hi.

    Wow this was really interesting. At first I couldn't tell what the narrator in the poem was. But the symbolism definitely made itself clear in the end. My favorite part was:

    so many thoughts do poison you, and fill your
    heart with absinthe and the lover's
    burning kiss

    So great. I love your vivid imagery. The quote definitely relates to this poem.

    Great write and good luck in the contest!


  • the wrong joke
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    that's slightly stereotypical, not all drugs are bad, LSD has less bad side effects than aspirin. just a point, nothin against the poem, which was pretty good, i must admit, i loved the whole parent thing, and you did a very good job with heroin's voice, sounded perfectly detached and, well, perfect. lol.


  • Jack666Slaughter
    April 24

    Edit | Reply

    Nice.

    *(decEIt)
    Some of the parenthesis (!?) broke character for me

    That's nice.

    "Silly addict, drugs are for thugs!"


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    omg i llove love love love love the formatting in this poem it made me read it three times thanks for entering and good luck in the contest

    • midnightnursex
      April 24
      Edit | Reply
      Awh, thanks! :} Sorry I didn't reply for a while, AP isn't telling me if someone has commented on my work anymore xO !

      Thanks, and happy judging. ;o


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    April 13

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for entering!

    This is a brilliant poem; thankyou so much for entering and good luck!

    Maria

  • midnightnursex
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    Dear inspirexIndependent, if you are reading this, I am just letting you know that I put my prompt and explained it in the author's notes. ;]]]


  • Mistress Leala silver member
    March 28
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is an amazing write. Such depth and intense emotions throughout. Outstanding.


  • Candy Morphine
    March 15

    Edit | Reply
    the skies had never known,
    such an awful, wicked noise
    as you scream into it once more
    -This is my favourite bit.


    There is great description here. Utterly encaptivating.

  • Candy Morphine
    March 11
    Edit | Reply
    Hey; Just writing to tell you that the competition has just closed, and was hoping to read your entry as soon as possible.

    thanks=]


    • midnightnursex
      March 14
      Edit | Reply
      ;] kay'. It's done. Sorry it took so long, I lost my muse for a second there.

  • Candy Morphine
    March 4
    Edit | Reply
    Okies=]

    Quote:
    "and now; as you see your name in city lights, tell me, is the lipstick deciet really worth all the tears falling like sleet?"

    I hope you like it alright. if not; tell me and i shall give another

1 - 25 of 25