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Lovers In The Morgue

how long ago
did it stop
that sweet love song hidden
deep inside your skin
?

when did your heart
depart
leaving me here, a bitter
lonely soul
to face this all alone
?

well, here's the truth
the part you haven't
ever
heard

i couldn't let you be with her
she's just not right for you,
and trust me; love
I couldn't let you go

so with two shots of this love potion
I scored your heart so hard
that even in myself, I felt it
a little dancer dancing
a death dance
til' his own heart gave in
to the sweet juice
of all
this pain
that you've made
me feel

and trust me; love!
I know i'm not the one
that made your heart skip
the way she did
but believe me; darling!
nobody love's you like I do
no one

I can't let her have you
'cause with all my heart
(;everyxsinglexounce//)
i know I'm the only one
that for you,
would make this life
worth living

so pale and cold, the eyes scream
songs to me
some of love and some of
deceit and hate

but with every glace, my own
heart misses you so

So as these tears splash down,
i scratch in this wretched love song
in hopes that when we do
meet again;
these eyes will be more forgiving

as it slides down my throat,
I crown myself the winner,
with this murder's tiara

I beat her;
I really did.

i smile as i hear the sirens coming
cause now i know
no one will ever keep us apart

so i let my head go, onto the
linoleum, your cold heart
stealing the fire from my own

and i laugh
and cry tears of
victory and sorrow

because now I know
always and forever

we'll be together someday
as
lovers in the morgue.

Author notes

Okkkay. Yes, I realize this poem is much darker then the other nice little poem's I've written. But, I truly do love darker poems just as much as I admire the lighter ones. Don't worry, I'm not of any meds, not being depressive or whatever, this is just a poem outside what you've seen me write. - PLEASE POINT OUT SPELLING ERRORS-

Hope you like it.

wish me well in my contest!

***
to DramaQueen469: I choose a horror poem oooh, spooky.

to inspirexIndependence: here is my quote prompt “Self-love seems so often unrequited.” –Anthony Powell I feel that this relates because this girl didn't know how to love herself.. she always looked for love in other people, but no love another person can give you is the same as you can give yourself, when you really love yourself. I wish she'd known that. ;p


this one.. can be dedicated to C.M

Picture prompt :
http://xxtaintedlipsxx.deviantart.com/art/Beauty-is-not-pretty-114814123

A contest entry

What did you think of this? ;D

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • ladybug.
    June 23

    Edit | Reply
    I really like your unique style. It's very free. The poem had amazing imagery, simply stunning. Thanks for sharing.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    Oooh, I really like this ! It was very different, but I think that's why I liked it so much. Your images and vocab were great, and how you worded everything to make it come alive was just wow. I loved it.


    Thank you for entering♥


  • Kathraina silver member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I find it amusing and scary at the same time.
    AWESOME!!!!!!!
    Fantastic job with this write


    ♥ kate


  • the wrong joke
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    lovely imagery, bravo, there were some typos, but oh well, i didn't think they detracted 2 much, only thing really, is where the lines end and punctuation, flow and speed are the only 2 things u could work on, and them would b minor, just simply editing line breaks, other than that tho. amazing, i loved the title


  • FluorescentFixation
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, the title was absolutely epic. So very profound. I think the way you wrote this was very unique. The obsession was really vibrant. My favorite parts were:

    "a little dancer dancing a death dance" This had a fun ring to it, I've never read something quite like it.

    "so i let my head go, onto the linoleum" Once again, very cool to read. I can just see it happening, the obsessive girl crashing to the floor and her tiara rolling off.

    One thing I'd suggest is that you review your line breaks. There are parts when it just doesn't flow as well as I think it could. Also, the first two stanza's are kind of superflous. If they weren't in the poem it wouldn't affect it at all. Without them, the entrance would be more powerful and it would pull the reader in further.

    But in all honesty, this was a very interesting poem, very powerful. Great write and good luck in the contest!


    • midnightnursex
      May 1
      Edit | Reply
      Heh heh, thanks for viewing! xD The thing is, once I write a poem, I'm done with it. I won't go back and edit it or read it again, I don't know why bahaaahaa, ;p


      Have fun with your judging, and thanks for the advice!


  • DramaQueen469 silver member
    April 13

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for entering!

    I frickin' love it. Well done and thanks for entering!

    Maria


  • midnightnursex
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    to inspirexIndependence: here is my quote prompt “Self-love seems so often unrequited.” –Anthony Powell I feel that this relates because this girl didn't know how to love herself.. she always looked for love in other people, but no love another person can give you is the same as you can give yourself, when you really love yourself. I wish she'd known that. ;p


  • Candy Morphine
    March 9

    Edit | Reply
    I. LOVE. THIS. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love.
    Love,
    LOVE.


    Honestly. I just dont know where to start. I thought it was just absolutly amazing. You perfectly captured the tense mood and suspense was an accurate feature.

    FINALIST!!!!


    • midnightnursex
      March 9
      Edit | Reply
      THANK YOU! Ah, my god. I think I'm gonna go faint nowwwwww, wowzers. You guys are weird, liking the stuff I write xP AHA IMMMA FAINT


  • midnightnursex
    March 4
    Edit | Reply
    Ohhh, and when I say it's dedicated to C.M, it's not Candy Morphine, it's one of my good friends with the same initials. x] sorrrrry for the confusion


  • BlackRose21
    March 4

    Edit | Reply

    Incredible...

    I loved it... I haven't read any of your other work but this was impressive!!! I mean you could feel her twisted sense of triumph... it was a great write... and good luck on your contest!!!!


  • Candy Morphine
    March 4
    Edit | Reply
    Picture:
    http://truyen.deviantart.com/art/duality-114795420

    ..or..

    http://xxtaintedlipsxx.deviantart.com/art/Beauty-is-not-pretty-114814123


    --Hope you like them=]

1 - 20 of 20