It's happened once again,
my illnesses controlling my actions.
It's happened another time,
begging for forgiveness.
I'm in re-play once more,
lacking sensible sanity.
My conscience miscalculated again,
mistakingly building self confidence.
The barriers of the brain were forgotten momentarily,
I foolishly believed I could live a day without medication.
...I forgot I can't live in freedom.
I must remember daily;
these eternal chains that bind my soul.
Squeezing and tightening,
they remind me of how foolish I was to think,
I could ever be capable or worthy.
Limited to what I know,
I lack ability to break free.
Longing to grasp the skies tail,
and fly within the clouds cottony wisps,
I know I may never do such things.
So I shall dream.
Yes, the medication encourages such naivety.
Within the shell I've become accustomed to calling myself,
I'll dream big and I'll dream high.
I will dream of the world as a whole,
and of people's worst crimes being over-kind.
I will dream of such silly things with ambition.
Yes, For as long as these chains choke the delicate membrane within,
I am, and always will be...
A Medicated Reoccurence
Author notes
Three disorders I have personally been diagnosed with, which make living each day, a constant battle between the heart, mind, and soul.
1.Clinical Depression
2. Generalized Anxiety
3. Boarder Line Personality
How does this write make you feel emotionally, and what does it make you think? Are you left with something, or have I answered all the questions already
Comments
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Those medications, that combination of saviour and annoying ball and chain! You've expressed it welll the feeling of frustration and of hopefulness that some day...
Take care of yourself and, hard as it may be, stick with the goddam meds! I hate to admit it but it's the only really reliable game in town though I like to think there is also something I call "determination to be well" But that could be denial or a case of the silly mes. But this piece is NOT about me and I do think it's a well done piece.
Thank you.
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It's sad because this feels so true, and I can def. relate to it.
I like the rhythm of this poem.
And I think overall it was a good write. -
it makes me sad that you feel like that hun. you've answered all the questions. i won't say that being without meds is going to happen, but i'm saying it is possible. and i always hope and dream for and with you tha you do find freedom...great write, heartachingly emotional
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